Grandparents Apart UK say! ' Save our children from abuse. Retrain Social Service Now to respect and work with others they can't do it alone.

Social Services are badly needed in this day and age of drugs and drink which is the major cause of abuse to children. The problem is so huge that the social services can't cope. They need to use every means available for protecting children, like the army of grandparents and extended family that they ignore and treat with disrespect. Social services are so wrapped up in their own self importance and think they can cope but the constant bad publicity, some of it featured in our bloghttp://chatterboxblogforyou.blogspot.com/2010/07/father-wrongly-accused-in-flawed-abuse.html is SHOUTING out they can’t. It shows a total neglect and disregard for our children’s welfare as a whole and any person connected to children that are unfortunate enough to come in contact with them.

It would be so good to have a caring service that grandparents can trust and turn to in times of trouble instead they are afraid to contact for fear of being ignored and the first to lose their grandchildren to the system.

The question is! Are social services working in the best interests of the children or their own uncaring ruthless agenda in cost cutting?

It is right to watch expenditure but it appears the way social services work, is like a well run business any director would be proud. Concentrating on keeping costs to a minimum is doing more harm than good.. The problem here is, it is children they are dealing with and their cost cutting in children’s welfare is depriving them of adequate care and leads to more cost when they feel rejected by society. With no sense of self worth they turn to the ever increasing number of gangs for that belonging feeling like so many of the children before them who have passed through the care system

The present system is coming apart and doing more harm than good to society It is not only destroying the young lives of our children but disgusting their own social workers as well.

Jimmy Deuchars

Grandparents Apart UK

22 Alness crescent

Glasgow G52 1PJ

0141 882 5658

http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk

Frequently Asked Questions

FAQ 1

Q,\ Do I have a legal right of contact with my grandchildren?

A, . Grandparents do not have an automatic legal right of conta~t. However anyone who meets the criteria that contact would be in the child's best interest, has a right to go to court to seek contact with any child.

Q, Is there an alternative to court?

A, Yes, Mediation. Scottish- Family Mediation Scotland, 0845 119 2020. Contact to find your local branch 0845 60 26 627 If it can be arranged for everyone concerned to attend a mediation session as early as possible legal processes may not be required. Mediation has prevented many a molehill becoming a mountain. Anyone who does not take part in mediation may be considered not to have the best interests of children at heart.

Q, What is my first step?

A, Contact our group or another grandparents group to familiarise yourself about the situation. We won't just tell you what you want to hear, we expect you to examine your own actions and be prepared to give and take. You may have to approach the situation with a different attitude. Remember it is for your grandchildren.

Q, What can I do to help the situation?

A, Record everything. If you are still getting some contact record dates and times etc. Do not get involved in any arguments or fights as this could be the excuse for a court order to be taken out against you preventing all contact.Perhaps another family member could help diffuse the situation.

Q, What qualifies Grandparents Apart UK to give information?

A, We have all been through what you are going through at this moment. If we can point someone in the right direction all the better. We are not lawyers and do not give legal advice but by sharing our experience we have helped thousands of grandparents over our ten years in this field. Hopefully we can help you too.

Q, What areas do you cover?

A, Due to the magic of email and good communications we cover the whole of the UK and have members in all four countries and some overseas too.

Q, What have you achieved?

A, We have raised the profile of grandparents dramatically over the years and with our nvolvement the Scottish Government created The Charter of Grandchildren; a document which reminds us all that the children are the priority, while explaining the positive role grandparents can play in their life.

Q, How can I get support?

Telephone helpline 0141 8825658 or emailjames@grandparents.fsnet.co.uk We also have local monthly

meetings and all grandparents denied contact with their grandchildren are welcome to come along.

Q, How do I apply for contact through the courts?

A, The first step is to contact a Family Law Solicitor. Scottish Law Society, 0131 4768168. English Law Society 08456086565 You can find details in the phone book or on the Family Law website.

Q, Will I get financial help?

A, This depends on many things and your solicitor will help you with this.

Q, How long will this process take?

A, The legal process does not move quickly and can take years to reach a conclusion?

Q, Should I report a problem to Social Services?

A, Yes if you feel the child is in danger.

Q, How should I expect to be treated by Social Services?

A, Be aware that Social Services sometimes take control rather than help and support. Go along with

everything they ask of you and be amiable. If you disagree or question their decisions you will be labelled

un-cooperative and ignored.

Q, Social Services are shutting me out, what can I do?

A, Ask for an explanation of their decisions. Contact the social worker's supervisor, then head of Social

Services. There is ultimately a head of Social Services within the council and their name and contact details

Contact info Scotland Local Government Ombudsman Scotland,23 Walker St, Edinburgh EH3 7HX (Tel: 0131 225 5300; Fax: 0131 225 9495)

Wales Public Services Ombudsman 1 Ffordd yr Hen Gae, Pencoed, CF35 5LJ Tel: (01656) 641 150 Fax: (01656) 641 199.

Northern Ireland Ombudsman, Freepost, Belfast BT1 6BR (Tel: 0800 34 34 24 or 028 9023 3821; Fax: 028 9023 4912 Email: ombudsman@ni-ombudsman.org.uk.

Greater London 21 Queen Anne's Gate, London SW1H 9BU (Tel: 020 7915 3210; Fax: 020 7233 0396)

Birmingham, Staffordshire, Shropshire, Cheshire, Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, Lincolnshire and the north of England

Beverley House, 17 Shipton Road, York YO30 5FZ (Tel: 01904 663200; Fax: 01904 663269)

All of southern England (except London), East Anglia, the south-west and most of central England

The Oaks No 2, Westwood Way, Westwood Business Park, Coventry CV4 8JB (Tel: 024 7669 5999; Fax: 024 7669 5902)

Q, Are you in favour of either parent?.

A, No! We believe there should be equal parenting withgrandparents as a back up for the welfare of children. We have no intentions of taking over or step on any parents toes, just to be considered more if the children are alone or have been abused or taken into care rather than go to strangers.

Q, Can I help in your campaign?.

A, Yes. Send in our letter asking your local councillor to raise making the Charter for Grandparents mandatory for professionals that work in the welfare of children. As well as informing as many MPs MSPs as you can that you would like to see this change.

Issued by:

Grandparents Apart UK

22 Alness crescent

Glasgow G52 1PJ

0141 882 5658

http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk

The Charter for Grandchildren

It is important that parents, grandparents and other family members, speak to, and treat each other, with respect. You may not get on, but you can still be civil, for the sake of the children. Try to avoid arguing with or criticising family members in front of the children. It can be very upsetting for them.

On occasions professional organisations such as social work departments or the courts can become involved and may have to make decisions that will have a lasting impact throughout a child’s entire life. In these circumstances it is vital that the loving and supportive role that the wider family, in particular grandparents can play is respected and protected for the child…

FAMILIES ARE IMPORTANT TO CHILDREN.

Grandchildren can expect:

· To be involved with and helped to understand decisions made about their lives.

· To be treated fairly

· To know and maintain contact with their family (except in very exceptional circumstances) and other people who are important to them.

· To know that their grandparents still love them, even if they are not able to see them at the present time.

· To know their family history.

· The adults in their lives to put their needs first and to protect them from disputes between adults - not to use them as weapons in quarrels between adults.

· Social workers , when making assessments about their lives, to take into account the loving and supporting role grandparents can play in their lives.

· The Courts, when making decisions about their lives, to take into account the loving and supporting role grandparents can play in their lives.

· Lawyers and other advisers to encourage relationship counseling or mediation when adults seek advice on matters affecting them and their children.

Along with others, Grandparents Apart put a lot of hard work into “The Charter for Grandchildren” demanding to be heard about the gaps in the family law concerning our grandchildren. Why? Because we really do have the best interests of our grandchildren at heart, if it was not for love of them why would we bother?

Grandparents Apart UK. 22 Alness Crescent, Glasgow G52 1PJ

http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk A Scottish Registered Volunteer Charity No. SC 031558

Letter to your member of Parliament.

Dear …………………………………………………………….MSP/MP/AM

The Scottish Parliament Edinburgh EH99 1SP

I have contacted Grandparents Apart UK for support regarding losing contact with our grandchildren.

With their ten years of experiences and what my grandchildren and I are suffering I feel justified in supporting this proposal and would be obliged if you would make it an issue in parliament. I believe a Government created this Charter and therefore they should ensure its effectiveness.

The Proposal:-

We therefore propose that ‘The Charter for Grandchildren’ ‘ The role grandparent can play in their grandchildren’s lives’ should be made Mandatory for Professionals dealing with children thereby ensuring in the absence of one or both parents that the love and protective role grandparents can play in their lives is not wasted as is the case at present because grandparents are regarded as irrelevant persons and scarcelyconsidered in practice.…

Being mandatory for professionals would mean

the children have the right to expect the best from their grandparents or an explanation why not.

This is not affecting parent’s rights. If the governments were to adopt this as an example it would send a message of encouragement to families that grandparents can be a huge asset in the family and it could be worthwhile attending mediation or family education focusing on the best interests of the children.

Grandparents Apart UK have been counseling grandparents for years on how to be a successful and helpful grandparent and have been brought hundreds of families together again.

We can bring it to the notice of the government but it needs you the constituent to back it up.

I understand this statement will be treated as completely-confidential.

I look forward to your reply.

Name………………………………………………………

Address…………………………………………………..

Town……………………………………………

Post code…………………………..

Phone number………………………………………….

E-mail………………………………………..

(If you have one)

Signature………………………………………………..

Issued by Grandparents Apart UK, 22 Alness crescent,Glasgow G52 1PJ, 0141 882 5658http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk

Letter to your local district councillor.

Dear Councillor……………………………………………..

I have contacted Grandparents Apart UK for support regarding losing contact with our grandchildren.

With their ten years of experiences and what my grandchildren and I are suffering I feel justified in supporting this proposal and would be obliged. if you would make it an issue to the council. I believe a Government created this Charter but passed it to local authorities.

Glasgow City Council has said yes to the following proposal on 18^th February 2010 and I ask you to please raise a motion for accepting this proposal in your Council Chambers.

To-

Councilor……………………………………………………

…………………………………………………………………

…………………………………………………………………

Post code ……………………………………

The Proposal:-

We therefore propose that ‘The Charter for Grandchildren’ ‘ The role grandparents can play in their grandchildren’s lives’ should be made Mandatory for Professionals like social services dealing with children thereby ensuring in the absence of one or both parents that the love and protective role grandparents can play in their lives is not wasted as is the case at present because grandparents are regarded as irrelevant persons and scarcely considered in practice.…

Being mandatory for professionals would mean the children have the right to expect the best from their grandparents or an explanation to the contrary..

This does not affect parent’s rights. If the councils were to adopt this as an example it would send a message of encouragement to families that grandparents can be a huge asset in the family and that it could be worthwhile attending mediation or family education focusing on the best interests of the children.

Grandparents Apart UK have been counseling grandparents for 10 years on how to be a successful and helpful grandparent and have brought hundreds of families together again.

I look forward to your reply.

Name………………………………………………………………

Address………………………………………………….. ……

Town………………………………………………………………

Post code…………………………………………………………

Phone number…………………………………………………

E-mail……………………………………………………………

(If you have one)

Signature………………………………………………………

Meditation.

The new coalition government is to look at promoting mediation more seriously for resolving family disputes in order to keep them out of the family courts. Billions are spent on cases that should never have been taken to court in the first place. This letter focuses on children’s welfare as they suffer the most in family conflicts.

Children are very sensitive when adults fall out or are distant with one another. They do not understand how mum/dad and gran/grandad are acting funny and being secretive about it. They often feel it is something they have done to cause this uncomfortable atmosphere.

In nursery or school children are encouraged to talk about what they do with the family and if there is disharmony they feel unhappy, show signs of depression and feel out of place and embarrassed when they have nothing happy to say about their family. They often confide in their teacher or best friend and before you know it the whole class knows all about it. Children cannot hide their feelings at a time like that.

Adults do fall out and whether it is obvious or not adults take children for granted that they will feel the same as they do and often, unconsciously, put them in a position of using them as weapons or blackmail against the other adults.

The natural instinct is to protect children but your own feelings can be so hurtful and strong that you do not want to mediate. Ask yourself why? Does it affect the children? You might not think so but, as previously said; children are very sensitive and pick up the vibrations. Should you think you are justified in not mediating, go along and tell them why. Put a final end to the confusion and move on.

I

f adults are not speaking there are contact centres for keeping children in contact with the wider family, a place where warring adults do not even have to meet at all. (until they grow up and think of the children’s welfare).

Mediation sessions with an outside family counsellor can work wonders, it did in our case, but you need to be prepared to compromise. Be as frank and open as possible and make your rules and boundaries. You will find a solution if you put your mind to it.. The sense of satisfaction you get when you have honestly done your best for the children’s happiness is tremendous.

Remember, If there is enough determination to do what’s right in the best interests of the children, mediation will work.

Jimmy Deuchars

Grandparents Apart UK

22 Alness crescent

Glasgow G52 1PJ

0141 882 5658

http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk

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