"Bringing Families Together"

"Bringing Families Together"

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Grandparents Saving Abused Children

Highlighting Child Abuse by NSPCC

When you see the NSPCC advert on the telly about the wee girl in her home suffering from neglect and abuse because her mother is drunk or on drugs. Do you think something should be done to help this child? Well something can be done.
Support our cause and tell your local councillor and MSP.,MP that ‘The Charter for Grandchildren’ should be mandatory for professionals working in the welfare of children. And it won’t cost you a donation. You will be content that you helped save thousands of children from abuse not only at Christmas but for life.

When ‘The Charter for Grandchildren’ is made mandatory for professionals it would give children the right to have the best help their grandparents can offer instead of them being ignored.

The advert is about when a mother is drunk and violent who looks after the children. Who indeed! Even the NSPCC have no idea what is happening until it is too late for these kids because it is going on behind closed doors. The girl is not of school age and the mother because her addiction comes first doesn’t usually have the child at nursery. She only appears, putting on a face for neighbours for short visits to the shops or pub where she brings home like minded strangers that share her addiction often putting her children in grave danger.

We call these children ‘The Forgotten Children’ out of sight out of mind.

The only people who have an inkling of what is going on is grandparents because they have the insight to their families shortcomings and are worried about the kids. Grandparents inform social services about the situation but are told you are interfering and are only making trouble and then ignored. It is criminal not to use every means of protection for children. The cheek of it is, from the media, the social services with their law unto themselves attitude very often get it wrong themselves and the kids suffer for it. We know that grandparents who love their grandchildren are more observant for their safety.

‘The Charter for Grandchildren’
Created by the Scottish Government in 2005

It is important that parents, grandparents and other family members, speak to, and treat each other, with respect. You may not get on, but you can still be civil, for the sake of the children. Try to avoid arguing with or criticising family members in front of the children. It can be very upsetting for them.

On occasions professional organizations such as social work departments or the courts can become involved and may have to make decisions that will have a lasting impact throughout a child’s entire life. In these circumstances it is vital that the loving and supportive role that the wider family, in particular grandparents can play is utilised to the full

(Grandchildren can expect)

• To be involved with and helped to understand decisions made about their lives.
• To be treated fairly
• To know and maintain contact with their family (except in very exceptional circumstances) and other people who are important to them.
• To know that their grandparents still love them, even if they are not able to see them at the present time.
• To know their family history.
• The adults in their lives to put their needs first and to protect them from disputes between adults - not to use them as weapons in quarrels between adults.
• Social workers , when making assessments about their lives, to take into account the loving and supporting role grandparents can play in their lives.
• The Courts, when making decisions about their lives, to take into account the loving and supporting role grandparents can play in their lives.
• Lawyers and other advisers to encourage relationship counseling or mediation when adults seek advice on matters affecting them and their children.

Along with others, Grandparents Apart UK put a lot of hard work into “The Charter for Grandchildren” by demanding to be heard about the gaps in family law concerning their grandchildren. Why? Because we really do have the best interests of our grandchildren at heart, if it was not for our love of them why would we bother?

The Ten Commandments of Family Law.
(What needs to change for our children’s best interest?)

1, Our motto is “Bringing Families Together” so we think the best
interests of a child starts with Equal parenting when there is no
factually proven reason not to.

2, The ‘Charter for Grandchildren’ to be Mandatory for Professionals
working in Children’s welfare and answerable in law.

3, Children are human beings. Stop treating them as Commodities
like a business deal. Cost only criteria and can ruin children’s lives

4, If adopted, where appropriate, child contact maintained with birth
family in line with article 8 of the UN Convention on the rights of
the child. (Should only be stopped in the worst case scenario)

5, Kinship care before strangers to be the first choice.

6, All below accountable to law.
(a)--..False accusations. (b)-..Erroneous reporting by social
workers. (c)…Flouting of court orders (d) Social Services
Orchestrating “cover up’s”, when children are failed

7, Proper recording of all social work meetings and discussions
E.g. Dual tape recording similar to police proceedings (to prevent
And combat section 6 b+d)

8, More “transparency” and especially “accountability” for Social
work and their managers

9, Specialised training for social workers in the best interests of
children. (Only the most highly experienced social workers to
deal in child protection)

10, Accusations removed from record, when not proven.

Letter to your Member of the Scottish Parliament and or local councillor


The Scottish Parliament
EH99 1SP.

I feel justified in supporting this proposal and would ask you to make it an issue in parliament.

I believe a Scottish government created this Charter and therefore should ensure it’s effectiveness in use.

The Proposal:-
We propose that ‘The Charter for Grandchildren’. The role grandparents can play in their grandchildren’s lives be made mandatory for professionals working in the welfare of children thereby ensuring that the love and protection that grandparents can offer is not wasted as is the case present because grandparents are being told they are irrelevant persons and therefore rarely considered in practice. Being mandatory for professionals would not now be stepping on the toes of any family member.

Adopting this proposal it would send a messaging of encouragement to families about the importance of grandparents and thereby encourage mediation resulting in less court appearances which will then be less trauma on the children and in their best interests.

Failure to implement this proposal tantamount to criminal neglect in not utilising all possible means of protecting children.

I understand this statement will be in total confidence.

Name ……………………………………………………….

Address …………………………………………………….


………………………………….postcode …………………

Phone number ………………………………………………

Email Address ……………………………………………….
(if you have one)


I look forward to your reply.

How to find your Member of the Scottish Parliament


Please address mail to individual concerned.

Contact our telephone enquiry line on 0131 348 5000 or 0800 092 7500 if you have a general question about the Scottish parliament or wish to be put through to a Member of the
Scottish Parliament (MSP) or other office.

Textphone users can contact us on 0800 092 7100.

We also welcome text messages and calls using the RNID Typetalk service

Grandparents Apart UK
Part of Christmas Newsletter 2009.

We are very excited as The Charter for Grandchildren is finally making headway in Glasgow.. With our experience and listening to the government and what is best for children and their families we have put forward a proposal that appears to be acceptable to the local authorities. With the Charter for Grandchildren, grandparents will have all they need to be relevant in their grandchildren’s lives. Counsellor, Ruth Black of Glasgow City Chambers, supported by Bailie Iris Gibson is to raise a motion at a council meeting to have the social services adopt the Charter. Should it succeed in Glasgow then it should set precedence for other authorities in Scotland to adopt it. Wales at the moment is considering it. I have been promoting The Charter for Grandchildren to Gordon Brown and David Cameron but it needs you the constituents to tell your MP that you want the Charter for Grandchildren adopted for England & Wales.

Adopting the Charter will give children the right to have their grandparents considered seriously by professionals, such as social services, or an explanation to the contrary.

All the governments and local authorities say grandparents are very important in children’s lives and it is well known that they are the biggest carer of children in crisis and can be the first for early detection of abuse of children.. So how can they fail to adopt the Charter for Grandchildren especially in this day of rising drug and alcohol problems in families? Grandparents can save the authorities a fortune in child care.

Proposed Additional Rights for Grandparents? Removal of the need to ask a judge for permission to rase a contact action.

Scotland already has the right to raise a court order without asking permission from a court. Having these so called rights is no significant step forward. The best solicitors will tell you the truth and if they say you have no chance, believe them. Contact one of our groups or others for our experiences. In the end “It is the best interests of the child/ren that will win”

A court must be satisfied that your action is in the “best interests of the child” and if you have a case you would get permission anyway. Asking a courts permission to raise an action has been I believe a safety net and saved thousands of grandparents from paying legal fees for cases that would have had very little chance of success. Some of our members in Scotland have spent thousands in legal fees and still have no contact and later felt the legal advice they had received was not to their advantage.

A Grandparents Group in London has flogged the issue for 22 years and we believe this proves that no government will grant grandparents automatic legal rights to their grandchildren. And if they haven’t got the message by now, we have!. What is best for our grandchildren is paramount and compromise is essential.
Fathers in Scotland were up in arms as they were told by Hugh Henry MSP that grandparents would have more rights than they have if the Charter for Grandchildren was made legal. With the rights on the grandchildren’s side via “The Charter for Grandchildren” grandparents will have all they need to be considered seriously in their grandchildren’s best interest.

Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year
Awrabest for 2010

Reg Office:- 22 Alness Crescent, Glasgow, G52 1PJ. 0141 882 5658 www.grandparentsapart.co.uk


  1. Thanks for sharing such useful information with me.

    Merry Christmas !


    School of Social Work

  2. I am in the US and I am going through heck and back trying to protect my grandson. This site/blog is exactly what I have been looking for, as when I made a report to Social Services a year ago for things my daughter does as far as my grandson are NOT right and worse now than a year ago and I have nowhere to turn. I'm afraid if I call SS again, they'll ignore me again. I'd like someone to tell my story to who would give me advice, just plain listen even because though we have lived here in this toen for 5 years, I have NO friends here. I'm fairly housebound is why because I am disabled, but I have had my grandson with me for about 98% of his life..long story as I said. I NEED to talk to someone, honestly, who will listen and I'll listen to anyone else's story. Would you all be able to help me? Regards, Mary L Virginia USA

  3. PS.. I forgot to mention that my grandson is almost 2 years old, and I have raised him most all his life other than 2 months when my daughter moved in with a boyfriend last year..now she lives with another boyfriend and this one is not only arrogant, but he's a felon and always high. Since being with him, my daughter is high often now also. Jon is spending the night with his mother and her boyfriend tonight and I ACHE inside SO much worrying about him as she ignores him and neglects him even to the point of not providing his meals, plus she has me a wreck worrying that she'll keep him from me. I SO need someone to talk to about this!! Thanks for listening! regards, Meme - my nickname because that's what Jon calls me. (My grandson's name is Jonathan - I call him Jon or Jon Jon)