Tremendous response to ‘Grandparents Group Threatened with Gagging Order’

Will you please vote Yes for the Charter for Grandchildren or No. Please give reasons?

Would thank each and every one of you for your advice and support.

We would further appreciate your views on The Charter for Grandchildren which was created by a Scottish Government with our input for the best interests of children. Accepted by Glasgow City Chambers and is in the process of being implemented throut the council services.

We have adopted this Charter because it does not impinge in any way on parental rights or give grandparents any controlling rights over the parents. The majority of children that are taken by social services are cut off abruptly from the basic care and stability of grandparents which is a devastating blow to any child. As grandparents we have raised our family and love to see our grandchildren but also love to see them go home again with loving parents. We would not hesitate to accept them if something should happen that the parents were not available or until they sorted themselves out.

We believe parents normally come first but The Charter would ensure if parents cannot be there for them the children would be kept in a stable home environment and saved from a lifetime of social service care where it is well known the biggest percentage of children that go through the care system are non-achievers lacking in self esteem, yearning for the love and stability they were robbed of as a child and are more than likely to seek comfort in the many gangs that are growing ever faster in our cities.

Articles related to this subject are to be seen by perusing this blog.

The Charter below will ensure Social Services will not be able to treat children like commodities in a business deal to be disposed of like goods. They will need to consider more seriously the role that grandparents can play in children’s lives rather than go to strangers.

It is important that parents, grandparents and other family members, speak to, and treat each other, with respect. You may not get on, but you can still be civil, for the sake of the children. Try to avoid arguing with or criticising family members in front of the children. It can be very upsetting for them.

On occasions professional organisations such as social work departments or the courts can become involved and may have to make decisions that will have a lasting impact throughout a child’s entire life. In these circumstances it is vital that the loving and supportive role that the wider family, in particular grandparents can play is respected and protected for the child…

Ladies and Gentlemen let me present to you

‘The Charter for Grandchildren’

FAMILIES ARE IMPORTANT TO CHILDREN.

Grandchildren can expect:

• To be involved with and helped to understand decisions made about their lives.

• To be treated fairly

• To know and maintain contact with their family (except in very exceptional circumstances) and other people who are important to them.

• To know that their grandparents still love them, even if they are not able to see them at the present time.

• To know their family history.

• The adults in their lives to put their needs first and to protect them from disputes between adults - not to use them as weapons in quarrels between adults.

• Social workers , when making assessments about their lives, to take into account the loving and supporting role grandparents can play in their lives.

• The Courts, when making decisions about their lives, to take into account the loving and supporting role grandparents can play in their lives.

• Lawyers and other advisers to encourage relationship counseling or mediation when adults seek advice on matters affecting them and their children.

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Along with others, Grandparents Apart put a lot of hard work into “The Charter for Grandchildren” demanding to be heard about the gaps in the family law concerning our grandchildren. Why? Because we really do have the best interests of our grandchildren at heart, if it was not for love of them why would we bother?

We are happy to also promote the Parenting Agreement to be used when families split up.

Grandparents Apart Self Help Group Scotland. 22 Alness Crescent, Glasgow G52 1PJ

http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk/

A Scottish Registered Volunteer Charity No. SC 031558

Social Services obstruct children’s right of grandparents protection.

The only obstacle that prevents The Charter for Grandchildren to be up and working is social services.

Waken up Social Services, you need all the help you can get with the reputation you have acquired in failing to protect children.

The simple straight- forward Charter for Grandchildren is purely to focus on the best interests of the child rather than laws that are hidden away in long winded articles too long for busy people to find or remember.

In Scotland The full Glasgow City Council with a standing ovation for our work has accepted The Charter for Grandchildren on 18^th February 2010 and a request by two separate party Glasgow Councillors have asked for a meeting with the head of social work in Glasgow David Crawford but it appears to be the best interests of our grandchildren is not important enough for social services to accept.

Our Group in Wales, Grandparents Apart Wales has been making excellent headway with the Welsh Assembly but then again Gwenda Thomas social Services in Wales is so far removed from the suffering of children that she has not fully grasped the importance of using every means available for the protection of children.

England says they have no plans at present to implement changes in this area. Get Real Davey boy. You need to do better for children. You need to listen to older and wiser persons from the university of life .How children are are treated decides the thugs or good citizens of the future .

The Forgotten Children of drug and alcohol abuse.

The forgotten children are children that are caught in a protection gap where no-one can help them if they are being abused until the unthinkable happens and in the situation of a 37% rise in drug and alcohol fatalities (one nearly every day) “Who” is looking out for these children that are involved? No-one! No one is permitted to contact them if the resident parent wishes it.

Children’s agencies say they can only cope with half the calls they receive and can only act when the abuse has been recognized, usually when a child has been badly abused or worse. A gap in child protection that grandparents could fill because of their unique relationship and love for their grandchildren; creating a much needed helpline to someone they can trust. Grandparents know their own children and have the special insight as to how they could treat their grandchildren, especially in drug and alcohol danger homes.

An abuser of a child can get a court order with or without good reason banning a non-resident parent or grandparents from having contact when all they want is to know are the children OK. Surely this is in the best interests of a child? Every one who loves them should be able to have some contact in case of problems in their lives. A stranger is allowed to come and go any night and has abused and murdered a child. Non-resident parents and grandparents are enraged at this powerlessness to protect their own children.

The above was put to the previous Scottish Executive by Grandparents Apart Self Help Group Scotland their answer was “we have nothing further to add to our previous correspondence with you” Turning a blind eye will not make the abuse go away. It is obvious they had no answers to this problem. They have previously stated they also have no answer to non-compliance of court orders.

The unique relationship children could have with their grandparents must be explored and supported to the full for the welfare of our children. There is an army of grandparents out there where the majority of them would be delighted to help in early intervention should problems arise in their offspring’s home. For example, taking care of children and providing them with a known home environment rather than being taken to strangers, especially if their mum or dad is in trouble. The worst thing that can happen to a child at any age is to be parted from the family. The effects of this can be with them all their lives and lead to insecurity and problems in society.

Grandparents find children are treated as business commodities.

There are more and more abused children being taken into care by social services from homes that grandparents could look after. Children that need love and family comfort which grandparents could supply if they were not ignored by social services. This service is bursting at the seams to cope and have resorted to treating children as business commodities to get children adopted as quickly and as cheaply as possible rather than looking after the children’s real welfare with their grandparents. This is not in a child’s best interest emotionally or mentally.

One of our grannies (I cannot name her as the case is ongoing) calls me regularly to keep me up to date, she is broken hearted. A sheriff gave her contact 2hrs every eight weeks with her 4 year old grandson who is in foster care. On the last visit her grandson was taking her hand and giving her big hugs and kisses and asking “where do you live, is it a house you live in, can I come and see you.” The shock came after her last visit when the social services called her and told her that all contact was stopped. A hearing of the children’s panel had been called and it was by their recommendation.

The reason given by social services was the boy was very disruptive and upset when he left the granny and would not speak to the foster dad or the social worker. Although the granny had a court order to see him the social services had taken it upon themselves to stop contact with the magic saying, ‘to continue contact is not in the child’s best interest.'

The granny was phoning the social worker to check that her meeting with him the next day was still on when she was told her grandson had been adopted without her or the child’s mother being informed.

The heartbroken Gran said "I knew something was wrong when I got put through right away and didn't get the usual rubbish, she is not at her desk, or she is not in. I was so shocked at her attitude when she said, Have you not heard the adoption went through 3 weeks ago. I asked her if I was to see him again, the answer was, what do you think, then I don't think so, he is adopted you know" he is not now a cared for child. How callous is that in ruining a child’s life?.

The granny had just received a letter from the sheriff clerk to tell her she would be getting a court date soon for the hearing to continue her contact with the boy. Even the sheriff court had no idea this has happened and her solicitor is totally shocked.

This is adoption without consent is a terrible horrible thing to happen to this wee boy who loved his granny's visits and was looking forward to home visits with her. His young life has just been cut off from the only person who really loved him.

The social services had adopted the grandson without informing her or her daughter (the child’s mother) know anything about it.

Incidents.

http://www.cypnow.co.uk/bulletins/InCare/news/998367/?DCMP=EMC-InCare

Violence against children increases

By Emily Watson
Children & Young People Now
21 April 2010

Violent attacks on children increased last year, according to a study of hospital admissions published by Cardiff University.

Mother whose children were taken for adoption joins class action

More than 100 British families who say they have been treated unfairly by social services departments and the family courts are preparing to launch an unprecedented case at the International Criminal Court in The Hague, arguing that their human rights have been breached.

By Rebecca Lefort
Published: 8:33PM BST 19 Jun 2010

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/dispatches/episode-guide/series-62/episode-1

Undercover Social Worker

http://www.cypnow.co.uk/bulletins/InCare/news/997176/?DCMP=EMC-InCare

Plymouth social worker struck off for lying about visits

By Neil Puffett
Children & Young People Now
15 April 2010

Parents of children 'snatched' into care sue family' courts .'

By Nick Britten ~~~

PARENTS whose children were "snatched" by social workers are beginning an unprecedented class action to sue the farnilycourts and' councils who, they claim, illegally split them up.. . '.

The families of 50 children­are taking the unus.ual step by claiming "constant denial of freedoms"; which are protectedi.mder the Human RiglltsAct 1998

A report today by Sheen McDonald. Discussed on BBC radio Scotland’s Ask Kaye. That child sexual abuse has not changed in 25 years.

According to Tim LOUGHTON MP. in Denmark 40% of children in care are placed with relatives and forced adoption is practically unknown but in the UK only 4% are placed with relatives and around 600 opposed adoptions take place every year

Meditation.

The new coalition government is to look at promoting mediation more seriously for resolving family disputes in order to keep them out of the family courts. Billions are spent on cases that should never have been taken to court in the first place. We focuses on children’s welfare as they suffer the most in family conflicts.

Children are very sensitive when adults fall out or are distant with one another. They do not understand how mum/dad and gran/grandad are acting funny and being secretive about it. They often feel it is something they have done to cause this uncomfortable atmosphere.

In nursery or school children are encouraged to talk about what they do with the family and if there is disharmony they feel unhappy, show signs of depression and feel out of place and embarrassed when they have nothing happy to say about their family. They often confide in their teacher or best friend and before you know it the whole class knows all about it. Children cannot hide their feelings at a time like that.

Adults do fall out and whether it is obvious or not adults take children for granted that they will feel the same as they do and often, unconsciously, put them in a position of using them as weapons or blackmail against the other adults.

The natural instinct is to protect children but your own feelings can be so hurtful and strong that you do not want to mediate. Ask yourself why? Does it affect the children? You might not think so but, as previously said; children are very sensitive and pick up the vibrations. Should you think you are justified in not mediating, go along and tell them why. Put a final end to the confusion and move on.

if adults are not speaking there are contact centres for keeping children in contact with the wider family, a place where warring adults do not even have to meet at all. (until they grow up and think of the children’s welfare).

Mediation sessions with an outside family counsellor can work wonders, it did in our case, but you need to be prepared to compromise. Be as frank and open as possible and make your rules and boundaries. You will find a solution if you put your mind to it.. The sense of satisfaction you get when you have honestly done your best for the children’s happiness is tremendous.

Remember, If there is enough determination to do what’s right in the best interests of the children, mediation will work.

The Panic over Rights for Grandparents

Radio 5 Live. 17^th June 2010

Radio 5 Live today asked me to comment on what Nick Clegg is proposing for giving more rights to grandparents. The only difference this is making is causing panic among parents who are against the proposal that grandparents will be able to muscle in on their children’s upbringing. Already on the show a mother was up in arms at the proposal of grandparents having more rights. I can assure parents they have nothing to fear as Scotland already have what the Tories are proposing and it does not make one iota of difference.

The Governments Proposal:- the requirement for grandparents to crave a courts permission to go to court is to be lifted allowing them to hire a lawyer and go directly to court.. In actual fact, we feel this is removing a safeguard if grandparents do not fulfil the criteria required to win their case. Thousands of grandparents have spent their life savings in desperation to see their grandchildren, but at the end of the day if it is not in a child’s best interests no amount of money will win the right to see them for a judge has the final decision.

Our proposal is:- that Parents come first and foremost in a child’s life and if for some reason they cannot look after the children the grandparents should be first in line to care for them. This would keep them in a stable home environment and minimise the devastating effect separation has on their young lives.

The problem is that grandparents are considered irrelevant persons by the government and social services in a child’s life. They are often cut off, especially by social services, which often causes the child to be given to strangers in a crucial time of their lives which affects them for ever.

The Charter for Grandchildren that was created by a Scottish government does not in any way impinge on parental rights. It states that everyone including professionals should look more closely at the role grandparents can play in a child’s life and is totally focussed on the best interests of the child.

PROFESSIONALS ARE IGNORING THE CHARTER AS IT IS ADVISORY ONLY AND IT IS TOO MUCH BOTHER FOR THEM TO ADOPT IT BECAUSE ACCORDING TO THEM GRANDPARENTS ARE NOT RELEVANT IN THEIR GRANDCHILDREN’S LIVES.

Glasgow City Council adopted the Charter on 18^th February 2010 at a full council meeting but GLASGOW SOCIAL SERVICES are obstructing the full implementation of it.

“Bringing Families Together” Is Our Motto but this government proposal is about to cause more conflict between families.

See more, visit:-

http://chatterboxblogforyou.blogspot.com/2010/06/grandparents-and-their-status-in-family.html

Jimmy Deuchars

Grandparents Apart UK

22 Alness crescent

Glasgow G52 1PJ

0141 882 5658

http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk/