Message from the Grandparents Apart website

From: anon
Sent: Thursday, November 19, 2009 11:13 PM
To: james@grandparents.fsnet.co.uk
Subject: Message from the Grandparents Apart website

I read your site with interest and would like to show that in some cases it is the parents who have no rights

I brought my daughter up as a single parent working two jobs and with the help of my mother to care for my daughter
When my daughter was six I started a relationship we continued to raise my daughter and for but a brief spell were she was living with her mother I thought I had done a good job .my daughter was bright happy and got good exam results she wanted for nothing . there were time when her relationship with her grandmother was not the best but I always encouraged her to build the bridge back.
I had expressed on several occasions that I was not happy with the morals my grandmother was instilling in My daughter but I never stopped her seeing her
Now we get to the stage where has a 16yr girl she has her moods and she may not be happy how I parent her, so what does she do ,she talks to her grandmother and what does she do, well this is what she does

She tells My daughter that she can go stay with her with fewer rules ,she then goes to a lawyer to and finds out that because My daughter is in full time education she can apply to the CSA which she does, even though I was paying money to my daughter (I did not consent to her staying at her Grandmothers but I could not get her back) now the CSA are making me pay an amount I cannot afford and my 5 year old son is being penalised!
She also puts pressure on my daughter not to have contact with me

It is her way of saying I may not have been happy with her influence on my daughter but there is nothing I can do about it !

I feel what she should have done was offer My daughter support by saying she could c come stay for a short time to allow time to work it through with her father.

The law does not support me in getting my daughter Back
The CSA do not listen ( you have to pay anybody your child is living with ,they do not have to be related they could even be members of a religious cult or a convicted criminal) also my grandmother can only support my daughter because she get this money so in fact the state are forcing me to pay to have my daughter brought up by somebody I do not want to bring her up.
Where will my daughter go if she falls out with her grandmother now

So grandparent if you can just remember when your grand children are 16 you too can as difficult as their parents may have been and there is not a thing they can do because the law is on your side then.


And yes I do think this is unfair I work hard to bring up my daughter and I never alienated her against her grandmother in fact the opposite
And this is how she treat me her OWN son, what makes me think she is a good influence on MY daughter

Regards
Anon

Dear anon,

We have an education program for grandparents that advise them not to be like you describe but it takes all kinds to make up this world. The law is not on the grandparent’s side but on your daughter’s side. She is old enough to go, like all teenagers, Dear Phil,

We have an education program for grandparents which advises them not to be like you describe but it takes all kinds to make up this world. The law is not on the grandparent’s side but on your daughter’s side and you need to accept that. She is old enough to go, like all teenagers to the point of least resistance. You need to let your children go when they are at the stage of fleeing the nest and it is well proven they usually return as a friend. Don't cut her off as she will surely need a friend when she falls out with granny.

Jimmy


Jimmy