Can anyone in London attend this rally carrying an A4 poster displaying Grandparents Apart UK/Wales/Kilmarnock. .
Phone Jimmy 0141 882 5658 member@grandparents.fsnet.co.uk
or
Frank 01492 821 869 frank@bradfield.myzen.co.uk
London Saturday 7th August 2010
Physical, emotional & sexual abuse - paedophilia & incest - exploitation family court corruption - institutional, systematic & ritual abuse
The UK Rally against Child Abuse is an opportunity for people from all walks of life to join together not only in raising awareness of this most serious issue but also to show victims/survivors/families that you/we/they are not alone.
Everyone is welcome and encouraged to join us - survivors, non-survivors, friends, families, children, supporters and support organisations, anyone who is against child abuse and wants to make a difference.
Start - 1:00pm. Finish - 5:00pm
Trafalgar Square, Westminster, London.
Members of the public will be invited to take the stand to voice their views and share their stories.
(Please note: this event will be filmed)
Cherish The Children
Let's Be The Change We Wish To See In The World
CROSS OF CHANGE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE
Tel: 07837486640
Email: againstchildabuse@live.co.uk or crossofchange2010@live.co.uk
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Tremendous response to ‘Grandparents Group Threatened with Gagging Order’
Will you please vote Yes for the Charter for Grandchildren or No. Please give reasons?
Would thank each and every one of you for your advice and support.
We believe parents normally come first but The Charter would ensure if parents cannot be there for them the children would be kept in a stable home environment and saved from a lifetime of social service care where it is well known the biggest percentage of children that go through the care system are non-achievers lacking in self esteem, yearning for the love and stability they were robbed of as a child and are more than likely to seek comfort in the many gangs that are growing ever faster in our cities.
Articles related to this subject are to be seen by perusing this blog.
On occasions professional organisations such as social work departments or the courts can become involved and may have to make decisions that will have a lasting impact throughout a child’s entire life. In these circumstances it is vital that the loving and supportive role that the wider family, in particular grandparents can play is respected and protected for the child…
Ladies and Gentlemen let me present to you
Grandchildren can expect:
- To be involved with and helped to understand decisions made about their lives.
- To be treated fairly
- To know and maintain contact with their family (except in very exceptional circumstances) and other people who are important to them.
- To know that their grandparents still love them, even if they are not able to see them at the present time.
- To know their family history.
- The adults in their lives to put their needs first and to protect them from disputes between adults - not to use them as weapons in quarrels between adults.
- Social workers , when making assessments about their lives, to take into account the loving and supporting role grandparents can play in their lives.
- The Courts, when making decisions about their lives, to take into account the loving and supporting role grandparents can play in their lives.
- Lawyers and other advisers to encourage relationship counseling or mediation when adults seek advice on matters affecting them and their children.
Along with others, Grandparents Apart put a lot of hard work into “The Charter for Grandchildren” demanding to be heard about the gaps in the family law concerning our grandchildren. Why? Because we really do have the best interests of our grandchildren at heart, if it was not for love of them why would we bother?
We are happy to also promote the Parenting Agreement to be used when families split up.
Grandparents Apart Self Help Group
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk/
A Scottish Registered Volunteer Charity No. SC 031558
Social Services obstruct children’s right of grandparents protection.
Waken up Social Services, you need all the help you can get with the reputation you have acquired in failing to protect children.
The simple straight- forward Charter for Grandchildren is purely to focus on the best interests of the child rather than laws that are hidden away in long winded articles too long for busy people to find or remember.
In Scotland The full Glasgow City Council with a standing ovation for our work has accepted The Charter for Grandchildren on 18th February 2010 and a request by two separate party Glasgow Councillors have asked for a meeting with the head of social work in Glasgow David Crawford but it appears to be the best interests of our grandchildren is not important enough for social services to accept.
Our Group in
The Forgotten Children of drug and alcohol abuse.
The forgotten children are children that are caught in a protection gap where no-one can help them if they are being abused until the unthinkable happens and in the situation of a 37% rise in drug and alcohol fatalities (one nearly every day) “Who” is looking out for these children that are involved? No-one! No one is permitted to contact them if the resident parent wishes it.
Children’s agencies say they can only cope with half the calls they receive and can only act when the abuse has been recognized, usually when a child has been badly abused or worse. A gap in child protection that grandparents could fill because of their unique relationship and love for their grandchildren; creating a much needed helpline to someone they can trust. Grandparents know their own children and have the special insight as to how they could treat their grandchildren, especially in drug and alcohol danger homes.
An abuser of a child can get a court order with or without good reason banning a non-resident parent or grandparents from having contact when all they want is to know are the children OK. Surely this is in the best interests of a child? Every one who loves them should be able to have some contact in case of problems in their lives. A stranger is allowed to come and go any night and has abused and murdered a child. Non-resident parents and grandparents are enraged at this powerlessness to protect their own children.
The above was put to the previous Scottish Executive by Grandparents Apart Self Help Group Scotland their answer was “we have nothing further to add to our previous correspondence with you” Turning a blind eye will not make the abuse go away. It is obvious they had no answers to this problem. They have previously stated they also have no answer to non-compliance of court orders.
The unique relationship children could have with their grandparents must be explored and supported to the full for the welfare of our children. There is an army of grandparents out there where the majority of them would be delighted to help in early intervention should problems arise in their offspring’s home. For example, taking care of children and providing them with a known home environment rather than being taken to strangers, especially if their mum or dad is in trouble. The worst thing that can happen to a child at any age is to be parted from the family. The effects of this can be with them all their lives and lead to insecurity and problems in society.
There are more and more abused children being taken into care by social services from homes that grandparents could look after. Children that need love and family comfort which grandparents could supply if they were not ignored by social services. This service is bursting at the seams to cope and have resorted to treating children as business commodities to get children adopted as quickly and as cheaply as possible rather than looking after the children’s real welfare with their grandparents. This is not in a child’s best interest emotionally or mentally.
One of our grannies (I cannot name her as the case is ongoing) calls me regularly to keep me up to date, she is broken hearted. A sheriff gave her contact 2hrs every eight weeks with her 4 year old grandson who is in foster care. On the last visit her grandson was taking her hand and giving her big hugs and kisses and asking “where do you live, is it a house you live in, can I come and see you.” The shock came after her last visit when the social services called her and told her that all contact was stopped. A hearing of the children’s panel had been called and it was by their recommendation.
The reason given by social services was the boy was very disruptive and upset when he left the granny and would not speak to the foster dad or the social worker. Although the granny had a court order to see him the social services had taken it upon themselves to stop contact with the magic saying, ‘to continue contact is not in the child’s best interest.'
The granny was phoning the social worker to check that her meeting with him the next day was still on when she was told her grandson had been adopted without her or the child’s mother being informed.
The heartbroken Gran said "I knew something was wrong when I got put through right away and didn't get the usual rubbish, she is not at her desk, or she is not in. I was so shocked at her attitude when she said, Have you not heard the adoption went through 3 weeks ago. I asked her if I was to see him again, the answer was, what do you think, then I don't think so, he is adopted you know" he is not now a cared for child. How callous is that in ruining a child’s life?.
The granny had just received a letter from the sheriff clerk to tell her she would be getting a court date soon for the hearing to continue her contact with the boy. Even the sheriff court had no idea this has happened and her solicitor is totally shocked.
This is adoption without consent is a terrible horrible thing to happen to this wee boy who loved his granny's visits and was looking forward to home visits with her. His young life has just been cut off from the only person who really loved him.
The social services had adopted the grandson without informing her or her daughter (the child’s mother) know anything about it.
Incidents.
http://www.cypnow.co.uk/bulletins/InCare/news/998367/?DCMP=EMC-InCare
Violence against children increases
By Emily Watson
Children & Young People Now
21 April 2010
Violent attacks on children increased last year, according to a study of hospital admissions published by Cardiff University.
Mother whose children were taken for adoption joins class action
More than 100 British families who say they have been treated unfairly by social services departments and the family courts are preparing to launch an unprecedented case at the International Criminal Court in The Hague
By Rebecca Lefort
Published: 8:33PM BST
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/dispatches/episode-guide/series-62/episode-1
Undercover Social Worker
http://www.cypnow.co.uk/bulletins/InCare/news/997176/?DCMP=EMC-InCare
Plymouth social worker struck off for lying about visits
By Neil Puffett
Children & Young People Now
15 April 2010
Parents of children 'snatched' into care sue family' courts .'
By Nick Britten ~~~
PARENTS whose children were "snatched" by social workers are beginning an unprecedented class action to sue the farnilycourts and' councils who, they claim, illegally split them up.. . '.
The families of 50 childrenare taking the unus.ual step by claiming "constant denial of freedoms"; which are protectedi.mder the Human RiglltsAct 1998
A report today by Sheen McDonald. Discussed on BBC radio
The natural instinct is to protect children but your own feelings can be so hurtful and strong that you do not want to mediate. Ask yourself why? Does it affect the children? You might not think so but, as previously said; children are very sensitive and pick up the vibrations. Should you think you are justified in not mediating, go along and tell them why. Put a final end to the confusion and move on.
Radio 5 Live.
The Governments Proposal:- the requirement for grandparents to crave a courts permission to go to court is to be lifted allowing them to hire a lawyer and go directly to court.. In actual fact, we feel this is removing a safeguard if grandparents do not fulfil the criteria required to win their case. Thousands of grandparents have spent their life savings in desperation to see their grandchildren, but at the end of the day if it is not in a child’s best interests no amount of money will win the right to see them for a judge has the final decision.
http://chatterboxblogforyou.blogspot.com/2010/06/grandparents-and-their-status-in-family.html
Jimmy Deuchars
Grandparents Apart
22 Alness crescent
0141 882 5658
Friday, July 23, 2010
Grandparents Group faces Gagging Order
Press release
‘Grandparents Apart Wales’ a group that is dedicated to the welfare of children being reunited with their grandparents is to be silenced or else. The group have been reporting on a case about social services having failed yet again and have received a letter from a head of children’s services telling them to remove the story or face legal proceedings.
Jimmy Deuchars
Grandparents Apart
22 Alness crescent
0141 882 5658
The Farce About Grandparents Rights
Removing the need for grandparents to ask a courts permission to go to court is no significant step forward. It is no legal right to your grandchildren.
If the grandparents fulfil the criteria, Ie have had a close and loving relationship not to far in the past with their grandchildren and it would be clearly harmful to the children to discontinue contact then a judge will probably give the grandparents permission to go to court. Their case could be said to have a chance of succeeding albeit in the best interests of the child.
If they do not fulfil these criteria then they will be more likely refused permission saving them wasting the courts time and paying for a lawyer for a case that has very little chance of succeeding.
We did a questionnaire (In our book ?Grandparents Speak out for Vulnerable Children?) and the replies condemned the legal profession for not giving the right advice.
?Animosity? is the main obstacle against contact orders being successful. The guardian of the child quickly learns through a certain Woman?s organisation that if they throw a strop in court the grandparents are refused contact because animosity in the relationship will reflect on the child.
?Non compliance of court orders? After the grandparents have spent a fortune and obtained a contact order, the guardian of the child has again been educated in ways of getting away with not compiling. Then the court order is not worth the paper it is written on.
The last time in
This must not be allowed to happen.
See other releases on this subject.
http://www.blogger.com/home?pli=1&pli=1 Facebook insertions.
Jimmy Deuchars
Grandparents Apart
22 Alness crescent
0141 882 5658
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Experience: I'm proud my mother left home
The Guardian, Life and style, Michele Gorman,
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jul/17/i-am-proud-my-mother-left-home
'It was her family's reaction that left the deepest scars. Mothers do not leave their children, they told her with their silence'
Michele Gorman 'This was the late 70s. Women did not leave husbands without stigma.' Photograph: Mark Chilvers
I remember the meal exactly: steak, mashed potatoes and buttery corn on the cob. All my favourites. Mid-chew, my father calmly announced, "Your mother and I are separating. She's moving out." With a mouthful of potato I became the product of a broken home. And with those words my father became a full-time parent to two young girls, aged seven and 11.
It was impossible for my little sister and me, on that night, to reconcile the happy family life we knew with the reality that it was breaking up. But the truth was my mother didn't love my father, and hadn't done for many years.
That's not to say the marriage was loveless. My father deeply loved my mother, enough for both of them for a while. Desperately, he used words he hoped would convince her to stay. If she wanted out, he told her, she'd have to be the one to leave. He knew he had society on his side.
This was the late 70s. Women did not leave husbands without stigma. My sister and I weren't even aware of these taboos. We grew up in a small town where all our friends' parents were married, to their first spouses, as were all our neighbours, cousins, aunts and uncles.
But my mother knew she had to leave, and so she explained to us until she was sure we understood. "I'm unhappy being married to your father," she said, "and I'm making him unhappy. That isn't good for either of us, and it isn't good for you two either."
The message was consistent, and clear. She wasn't leaving us. She was leaving her husband. We had the choice to go with my mother. We chose not to. My mother's new place would be just three miles away but I wanted my friends around me, and the familiarity of the home I'd grown up in. Besides, on a practical level, I didn't see how the school bus would know where to find me if I moved. (I'd had similar concerns about Father Christmas years earlier when we went to my grandma's for Christmas Eve.) My mother must have been devastated by our choice, and overwhelmed at the enormity of what she was doing. Recently she told me about the first night in her new place. She stood in the bathroom, looking in the mirror, and heard a noise. It was high-pitched and terrifying. Then she realised the sound was coming from her.
My mother knew she'd made the right decision but was unprepared for the consequences. The neighbours stayed neutral at first but social invitations quickly dried up. Long-time friends snubbed her at the supermarket. Dad was the wronged party, in their eyes, left to care for the abandoned waifs. They didn't see the pans of lasagna, our favourite food, dropped at our door because she knew the way we liked it. But it was her family's reaction that left the deepest scars. She was judged and convicted in absentia. Mothers do not leave their children, they told her with their silence. Her brother still doesn't speak to her. Her father broke off all contact for more than 15 years, though eventually they rebuilt a close relationship. Many aunts, uncles and cousins also believed my mother was an abomination, and most of those living still hold a grudge. Her decision cost her almost her entire extended family. Their condemnation was misguided.
My relationship with my mother didn't change when she left because we saw and talked to each other so often, and as a working mother we'd never seen her during the day anyway. We stayed at her place regularly – it was another home to us.
My mother and I are extremely close. I have no doubt that if she'd stayed in the marriage we'd have a different relationship today; I would have grown up with someone miserable and frustrated. As it was, my mother wasn't afraid to make a horrendously hard choice, for her own good and the good of her family. She always says she wasn't meant to be a wife. She's too independent to be happy in that role.
That sense of independence is something she passed on to my sister and me. And she managed to do it without seeming bitter about relationships. She became a stronger person because she was brave enough to leave. My sister and I grew up on many mantras from my mother but I think the most important is: if you don't like something about your situation, see how you can change it. She taught me that it's better to be judged by others as unconventional than to judge yourself a coward.
Do you have an experience to share? Email experience@guardian.co.uk
Monday, July 19, 2010
Grandparents Apart UK say! ' Save our children from abuse. Retrain Social Service Now to respect and work with others they can't do it alone.
Social Services are badly needed in this day and age of drugs and drink which is the major cause of abuse to children. The problem is so huge that the social services can't cope. They need to use every means available for protecting children, like the army of grandparents and extended family that they ignore and treat with disrespect. Social services are so wrapped up in their own self importance and think they can cope but the constant bad publicity, some of it featured in our bloghttp://chatterboxblogforyou.blogspot.com/2010/07/father-wrongly-accused-in-flawed-abuse.html is SHOUTING out they can’t. It shows a total neglect and disregard for our children’s welfare as a whole and any person connected to children that are unfortunate enough to come in contact with them.
The question is! Are social services working in the best interests of the children or their own uncaring ruthless agenda in cost cutting?
It is right to watch expenditure but it appears the way social services work, is like a well run business any director would be proud. Concentrating on keeping costs to a minimum is doing more harm than good.. The problem here is, it is children they are dealing with and their cost cutting in children’s welfare is depriving them of adequate care and leads to more cost when they feel rejected by society. With no sense of self worth they turn to the ever increasing number of gangs for that belonging feeling like so many of the children before them who have passed through the care system
The present system is coming apart and doing more harm than good to society It is not only destroying the young lives of our children but disgusting their own social workers as well.
Jimmy Deuchars
Grandparents Apart
22 Alness crescent
0141 882 5658
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
Frequently Asked Questions
A, . Grandparents do not have an automatic legal right of conta~t. However anyone who meets the criteria that contact would be in the child's best interest, has a right to go to court to seek contact with any child.
A, Yes, Mediation. Scottish- Family Mediation
A, Contact our group or another grandparents group to familiarise yourself about the situation. We won't just tell you what you want to hear, we expect you to examine your own actions and be prepared to give and take. You may have to approach the situation with a different attitude. Remember it is for your grandchildren.
A, Record everything. If you are still getting some contact record dates and times etc. Do not get involved in any arguments or fights as this could be the excuse for a court order to be taken out against you preventing all contact.Perhaps another family member could help diffuse the situation.
A, We have all been through what you are going through at this moment. If we can point someone in the right direction all the better. We are not lawyers and do not give legal advice but by sharing our experience we have helped thousands of grandparents over our ten years in this field. Hopefully we can help you too.
A, Due to the magic of email and good communications we cover the whole of the
A, We have raised the profile of grandparents dramatically over the years and with our nvolvement the Scottish Government created The Charter of Grandchildren; a document which reminds us all that the children are the priority, while explaining the positive role grandparents can play in their life.
Telephone helpline 0141 8825658 or emailjames@grandparents.fsnet.co.uk We also have local monthly
meetings and all grandparents denied contact with their grandchildren are welcome to come along.
A, The first step is to contact a Family Law Solicitor. Scottish Law Society, 0131 4768168. English Law Society 08456086565 You can find details in the phone book or on the Family Law website.
A, This depends on many things and your solicitor will help you with this.
A, The legal process does not move quickly and can take years to reach a conclusion?
A, Yes if you feel the child is in danger.
A, Be aware that Social Services sometimes take control rather than help and support. Go along with
everything they ask of you and be amiable. If you disagree or question their decisions you will be labelled
un-cooperative and ignored.
Q, Social Services are shutting me out, what can I do?
A, Ask for an explanation of their decisions. Contact the social worker's supervisor, then head of Social
Services. There is ultimately a head of Social Services within the council and their name and contact details
Wales Public Services Ombudsman 1 Ffordd yr Hen Gae, Pencoed, CF35 5LJ Tel: (01656) 641 150 Fax: (01656) 641 199.
Northern Ireland Ombudsman, Freepost, Belfast BT1 6BR (Tel: 0800 34 34 24 or 028 9023 3821; Fax: 028 9023 4912 Email: ombudsman@ni-ombudsman.org.uk.
Greater London 21 Queen Anne's Gate, London SW1H 9BU (Tel: 020 7915 3210; Fax: 020 7233 0396)
Birmingham, Staffordshire, Shropshire, Cheshire, Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, Lincolnshire and the north of England
Beverley House, 17 Shipton Road, York YO30 5FZ (Tel: 01904 663200; Fax: 01904 663269)
All of southern England (except London), East Anglia, the south-west and most of central England
The Oaks No 2, Westwood Way, Westwood Business Park, Coventry CV4 8JB (Tel: 024 7669 5999; Fax: 024 7669 5902)
Q, Are you in favour of either parent?.
A, No! We believe there should be equal parenting withgrandparents as a back up for the welfare of children. We have no intentions of taking over or step on any parents toes, just to be considered more if the children are alone or have been abused or taken into care rather than go to strangers.
A, Yes. Send in our letter asking your local councillor to raise making the Charter for Grandparents mandatory for professionals that work in the welfare of children. As well as informing as many MPs MSPs as you can that you would like to see this change.
Grandparents Apart
22 Alness crescent
0141 882 5658
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
The Charter for Grandchildren
Grandchildren can expect:
· To be treated fairly
· To know and maintain contact with their family (except in very exceptional circumstances) and other people who are important to them.
· To know that their grandparents still love them, even if they are not able to see them at the present time.
· To know their family history.
· The adults in their lives to put their needs first and to protect them from disputes between adults - not to use them as weapons in quarrels between adults.
· Social workers , when making assessments about their lives, to take into account the loving and supporting role grandparents can play in their lives.
· The Courts, when making decisions about their lives, to take into account the loving and supporting role grandparents can play in their lives.
· Lawyers and other advisers to encourage relationship counseling or mediation when adults seek advice on matters affecting them and their children.
Grandparents Apart
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk A Scottish Registered Volunteer Charity No. SC 031558
Letter to your member of Parliament.
With their ten years of experiences and what my grandchildren and I are suffering I feel justified in supporting this proposal and would be obliged if you would make it an issue in parliament. I believe a Government created this Charter and therefore they should ensure its effectiveness.
The Proposal:-
We therefore propose that ‘The Charter for Grandchildren’ ‘ The role grandparent can play in their grandchildren’s lives’ should be made Mandatory for Professionals dealing with children thereby ensuring in the absence of one or both parents that the love and protective role grandparents can play in their lives is not wasted as is the case at present because grandparents are regarded as irrelevant persons and scarcelyconsidered in practice.…
Being mandatory for professionals would mean
the children have the right to expect the best from their grandparents or an explanation why not.
Grandparents Apart
We can bring it to the notice of the government but it needs you the constituent to back it up.
I understand this statement will be treated as completely-confidential.
I look forward to your reply.
Name………………………………………………………
Address…………………………………………………..
Town……………………………………………
Post code…………………………..
Phone number………………………………………….
E-mail………………………………………..
(If you have one)
Signature………………………………………………..
Letter to your local district councillor.
The Proposal:-
We therefore propose that ‘The Charter for Grandchildren’ ‘ The role grandparents can play in their grandchildren’s lives’ should be made Mandatory for Professionals like social services dealing with children thereby ensuring in the absence of one or both parents that the love and protective role grandparents can play in their lives is not wasted as is the case at present because grandparents are regarded as irrelevant persons and scarcely considered in practice.…
Being mandatory for professionals would mean the children have the right to expect the best from their grandparents or an explanation to the contrary..
I look forward to your reply.
Name………………………………………………………………
Address………………………………………………….. ……
Town………………………………………………………………
Post code…………………………………………………………
Phone number…………………………………………………
E-mail……………………………………………………………
(If you have one)
Signature………………………………………………………
f adults are not speaking there are contact centres for keeping children in contact with the wider family, a place where warring adults do not even have to meet at all. (until they grow up and think of the children’s welfare).
Grandparents Apart
22 Alness crescent
0141 882 5658
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