http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article6582689.ece
Grandparents are left out of the family picture too often
When parents separate, grandparents can find themselves cut off from grandchildren with no rights. The law should change Joan Bakewell
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Stage lights sway beside the tall trees in Regents Park theatre on Saturday night, casting a golden glow on Beatrice and her reluctant wooer, Benedick. It was shivering cold, but our hearts were warm, first because of the play, but also because I was there in the company of my grandson. Much Ado had been a set text at school so he got the plot and understood the rude jokes as much as I did. The following morning we were off again, just the two of us, grandma and grandson, heading for the British Library and its exhibition of Henry VIII. Yes, my grandson is already in his teens and enjoys these one-to-one weekends almost as much as I do.
Jimmy and Margaret Deuchars in Glasgow had a fine time with their granddaughters at half-term, too. The two teenagers stayed over in their home and went on outings to Loch Lomond and such, just the sort of treats grandparents enjoy sharing. But in Jimmy and Margaret’s case it hasn’t always been that easy.
The Deuchars lost their daughter to breast cancer only weeks after her second baby was born. Her husband soon married again and moved away to Liverpool. His new family took precedence in his life and the grandparents found contact hard. Their requests to keep in touch came to nothing. They realised that they had lost more than their daughter. But they weren’t willing to accept the situation, and went to court. The laws of this country do not acknowledge any legal relationship between grandparents and grandchildren. However, after a somewhat heated negotiation, the families came to an agreement. In the years that followed they would meet their granddaughters once a month at Carlisle Castle or the Tesco near by. It wasn’t much of a family life, but it would have to do. However, they didn’t stop there.
When I was first a grandparent, about 17 years ago, grandparents didn’t have much of a profile. They were simply bundled in with the general family background and not expected to have much of a role. All that has changed, and people such as Miriam Stoppard are writing delicious books about the joys and rewards, but also about the skills and pitfalls of what I suppose must be called “grand parenting”. Being a grandparent, it seems to me, can be gloriously free of rule books and restrictions. There is only one qualification — parentage — and after that you make it up as you go along.
These days, grandparents are altogether more important in the community of families, a consequence, no doubt, of the fact there are more and more of us — 14 million at last count. The sad thing is that as many as a million of us have lost touch as a result of our children’s divorce or separation. Paternal grandparents are usually the most deprived because women — mothers — are awarded custody of their children in 90 per cent of divorce cases. So the fathers’ parents lose out. A report by the Grandparents Association of an admittedly small sample found that while 55 per cent of grandparents were directly involved in their grandchildren’s care before the separation, 67 per cent found themselves excluded from care afterwards and 42 per cent lost all face-to-face contact.
This is a regrettable situation. But the law — currently the Children Act 1989 — is framed to put the interests of the child foremost. So let’s consider the child’s needs: first the worst-case scenario, there are desperate families where drugs and drink are wrecking the lives of young children. I know of situations where the intervention of a grandparent offers exactly the support that young children need. Less dramatically, 20 per cent of children are growing up in a one-parent family: again the presence of older role models broadens their social horizons.
More positively still, research last year by the University of Oxford in collaboration with the Institute of Education found that “involved grandparents” had a major impact on adolescent wellbeing. The research’s principal investigator, Professor Ann Buchanan, said: “What was especially interesting was the links we found between ‘involved grandparents’ and adolescent wellbeing. Closeness was not enough: only grandparents who got stuck in and did things with their grandchildren had this positive impact on them.”
This is where Jimmy Deuchars comes in again. So distressed were he and Margaret over the struggle to gain access to their granddaughters that they founded Grandparents Apart UK, a support group to help others in the same plight. That was five years ago.
They have seen great improvements. The group consulted with the Scottish Executive to shape a Charter for Grandchildren, which was introduced in Scotland in May 2006.
This says that “on occasions professional organisations such as social work departments or the courts . . . may have to make decisions that will have a lasting impact throughout a child’s life. In these circumstances it is vital in touch with her young grandchildren. She is being refused the easy and regular access she would like. She has written to her MP, Andrew Dismore, of Lab Hendon, who referred it for a reply to Baroness of Dreflin Morgan, the minister responsible for this policy area.
Speaking of Scotland’s Charter for Grandchildren, Lady Morgan wrote: “Although we have no plans to produce a similar document in England, I think it is fair to say that the principles of the charter are already well established through case law, government policy and the Children Act 1989 itself.”
That isn’t enough. A report this week from the Grandparents Association, the Family Matters Institute and Families Need Fathers demonstrates that grandparents have scarcely more rights over their grandchildren than complete strangers. They certainly have fewer than step-parents who, if they have lived with a child for more than three years, have an automatic right of access.
Grandparents who are determined to reach their grandchildren must be prepared to embark on lengthy and sometimes expensive legal proceedings. Given that grandparents are likely to be getting on in years, this isn’t an appropriate action. The law needs to be changed to provide for grandparent access as a right. Nothing less will do.
www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
Friday, October 30, 2009
Call to help 'grandparent carers' living below the poverty line
More than a third of grandparents who look after their grandchildren full-time to prevent them being taken into care live below the poverty line.
Research found that 38 per cent of “grandparent carers” live on less than £200 a week, below the poverty line of £235, while a further third live on less than £300 a week. There are estimated to be about 200,000 grandparent carers who, together, save local authorities millions of pounds each year by keeping children out of foster and residential care. Each child in the care system costs about £40,000 a year.
This sort of “kinship” care is greatly preferred by many social workers to foster or residential care. It is less disruptive for the child, who can move into a home they know and with people who already love them. It is also far more stable than foster or residential care, which often breaks down.
Grandparents are increasingly a formal part of the care system, with the courts ratifying the arrangements as residency agreements or special guardianships. However, councils are under no obligation to offer financial assistance, despite the considerable additional cost to often-retired grandparents of raising children.
Research found that 38 per cent of “grandparent carers” live on less than £200 a week, below the poverty line of £235, while a further third live on less than £300 a week. There are estimated to be about 200,000 grandparent carers who, together, save local authorities millions of pounds each year by keeping children out of foster and residential care. Each child in the care system costs about £40,000 a year.
This sort of “kinship” care is greatly preferred by many social workers to foster or residential care. It is less disruptive for the child, who can move into a home they know and with people who already love them. It is also far more stable than foster or residential care, which often breaks down.
Grandparents are increasingly a formal part of the care system, with the courts ratifying the arrangements as residency agreements or special guardianships. However, councils are under no obligation to offer financial assistance, despite the considerable additional cost to often-retired grandparents of raising children.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
We're banned from seeing our grandchildren
- and the pain is tearing us apart
By Natasha Courtenay-Smith
Last updated at 8:00 AM on 29th October 2009
Like most grandparents, Barbara Fisher and her husband Mike revelled in the opportunity to experience childhood again through the eyes of their two grandchildren, and to be able to nurture and watch them grow without the responsibility of being full-time parents.
Indeed, there would be few who could argue that Barbara, a retired PA, and Mike, a former deputy headmaster, were not doting and adoring grandparents.
Living just two miles from their son Simon and his children, Sam, five, and Evie, three, they happily stepped in to look after the children twice a week while their daughter-in-law, Louise, went to work.
Many grandparenst have found their relationship with their grandchildren has been compromised after a divorce in the family
Not only did they take over practical tasks, such as ferrying their grandchildren to and from playgroup, but they also baked fairy cakes with them and helped teach their grandchildren how to plant vegetables in the garden. It was a set-up that benefitted everyone.
Yet today, Barbara and Mike have not set eyes on their grandchildren for more than a year-and-a-half.
Following their son's acrimonious divorce from Louise, 35, an accounts clerk, in March 2008, the family splintered.
'No parent wants to believe that their child's marriage will end in divorce'
And Barbara and Mike say it's them, the grandparents, who are paying the ultimate price for the breakdown of their son's marriage.
'I cry when I look back at photos of them in our kitchen with chocolate on their faces after helping me to bake buns, and in the garden helping Mike water the vegetables with their little plastic watering cans,' says Barbara, who lives in Droitwitch Spa, Worcestershire.
'Mike and I adored looking after Sam and Evie. We didn't see looking after them while their mother worked as a chore. Far from it - we loved every moment of being with the children.
'Parents are so busy these days, because most families need two incomes - but grandparents like us have the luxury of time to do these simple but important activities with our grandkids.
'We knew Simon and Louise had been having difficulties in their marriage and arguing a lot, but we thought they'd work it out.
Grandparents have been promised new access rights to help in often traumatic divorce cases where they end up losing touch with their grandchildren
'We were careful not to take sides, and in fact we'd always got on really well with our daughter-in-law - and she seemed very appreciative of our help with the children.
'When Simon told us they had decided to separate, it still came as a shock. No parent wants to believe that their child's marriage will end in divorce. But it never even entered our heads that we wouldn't be allowed to see our grandchildren.'
But just weeks after the divorce, Louise told the couple they could no longer see Sam and Evie.
'I rang her on a Sunday afternoon, as I always did, to arrange picking up Sam and Evie the following day before she went to work,' recalls Barbara.
'She simply stated that they were her children and that it was up to her who they saw. We were devastated'
'But she told me very coldly that she didn't need us to look after them any more, that she'd arranged for a friend to do it instead.
'I was incredibly upset. When I questioned why, and told her that we loved having the kids and still wanted to continue with that arrangement, all she said was: "Sorry, but I don't feel it's appropriate any more. They're my children and I don't want them to be with you while Simon and I are fighting one another for custody and access rights." '
So desperate were the couple to see Sam and Evie that they repeatedly tried pleading with Louise on the phone. 'But she wouldn't hear any of it and eventually stopped taking our calls,' says Barbara.
When they reached a dead end, Mike even turned up on her doorstep in an attempt to reason with her.
Grandparents are often the forgotten victims in divorce cases where custody of the children ends up being taken by just one of parents
'Louise wouldn't even let Mike into the house. She simply stated that they were her children and that it was up to her who they saw. We were devastated. We still are.
'In many ways, we feel like we're grieving. The pain is physical because we miss Sam and Evie so much. We already feel we have missed out on so much of their little lives now.
'Worse, we have no idea when, or if, we'll be allowed to see them again - and that's just too painful a thought to bear.'
There are 14 million grandparents in the UK, and according to figures from the Grandparents' Association a staggering million of these have lost contact with their grandchildren.
'The effect on grandparents is extremely traumatising'
'At the moment, as the law stands, grandparents have no voice,' says David Shields, spokesperson for the Grandparents' Association.
'They have no more rights than a stranger. They don't even have a right to stay in touch with their grandchildren.
'Our helpline receives up to 50 calls a day from grandparents who are often desperate and distraught. We do all we can, but the bottom line is that legally there is nothing there to help them. It's a deeply unfair situation, and the effect on many grandparents is extremely traumatising.'
And as journalist and author Andrea Kon knows only too well, grandchildren do not escape emotionally unscathed either. Her own mother died when she was three years old, and as a result of a family row she lost touch with her grandmother.
The fallout from a divorce often has a devastating effect on the relationship between grandparents and their grandchildren - a relationship which is crucially important to both parties
To this day, Andrea is haunted by an incident which occurred when she was seven years old, in which a stranger approached her outside her school gates, saying she was her grandmother.
Not recognising her, Andrea was terrified, screamed and ran away, convinced she was being chased.
She says: 'Years later, I learned the truth - that my grandmother, unable to bear the thought of not watching me grow up, had been at the school gates every single day to catch a glimpse of me in the playground.
'And one day, it had all got too much. She couldn't help but approach me, her dead daughter's daughter. What must it have done to her that I ran away from her, screeching with fear? We never did meet again.
'Only now that I have grandchildren of my own do I realise how much she must have suffered and how much I lost out, never really knowing about my roots and never being able to ask the questions my
grandchildren ask me now, such as: "What was my mummy like when she was a little girl?"
'It is an absolute tragedy that this situation is being played out in thousands of homes across Britain today.'
'In the bedroom she used when she stayed, her favourite soft toys are still there waiting for her'
Yet on Monday, grandparents such as the Fishers were presented with a glimmer of hope when Shadow Tory Minister David Willetts announced that if the Conservatives win the next election, the law will be changed to ensure that grandparents do not lose contact with their grandchildren after a family separation, divorce or bereavement.
To Barbara Fisher, this news is long overdue.
She says: 'We've sought legal advice in the past, but have been told by a solicitor with whom we are friends that grandparents don't get a look-in in divorce cases. Even our son is powerless to help us, and he's furious about the situation.
'Louise is still denying him access, too. I have no idea how this is allowed to happen legally, but the family courts just don't seem to operate in the best interests of the children. They just seem to bow down to the mother.
'Those children are our flesh and blood, and our life is empty without them. Whatever went wrong between Louise and our son isn't our fault - or the children's. Yet we're all being punished.'
These are sentiments shared by retired hoteliers Marion and John Mitchell, who live in a penthouse apartment overlooking the sea front in Llandudno, North Wales.
The couple, who have three children, are estranged from one of their five granddaughters - six-year-old Emma.
'Although we see our other grandchildren, nothing is more heartbreaking than not seeing Emma,' says Marion. 'We just can't forget all our memories with her. John used to take her for walks along the seafront and everyone said what a beautiful little girl she was. John was always so proud.
'He taught her how to build rocky stone castles on the pebbly beach and how to skim stones. In the bedroom she used when she stayed, her favourite soft toys, dolls and games are still there waiting for her. We can't bear to put them away. We just hope that one day she will be visiting us regularly again.'
Until Emma was 18 months old, Marion, 62, and John, 69, regularly cared for her.
Their efforts, they say, enabled their son Paul and his partner to go out to their jobs in retail.
'For ten months, she didn't allow even Paul to see his daughter, let alone us'
So when the couple broke up, the last thing Marion and John expected was that they'd lose contact with the little girl.
'Obviously any break-up is upsetting, but we never realised we would be stopped from seeing our grandchild,' says Marion.
'Yet it seemed that overnight Emma's mum, who'd met another man, didn't want anything to do with us. For ten months, she didn't allow even Paul to see his daughter, let alone us.
'It was absolutely devastating because Emma had been such a huge part of our lives.'
Ten months after the break-up, Paul gained some access and his parents were allowed to see Emma on occasional weekends too.
This set-up proved short-lived, however, and since Easter, contact between the Mitchells and their granddaughter has once again stopped.
And this is despite the fact that their son has been officially granted access in the courts. 'Emma's mother has remarried and now we don't see Emma at all,' says Marion. 'It is tearing us apart.
'Children change so quickly and we are desperately worried that, because she is so young, she will forget us. We feel it is incredibly important for grandparents to have rights, and we won't give up trying to see the little girl we love so much.'
So strongly do Jane Jackson, 57, a retired teaching assistant, and her husband Marc Jackson, 61, a retired supermarket manager, feel about the matter that they have dedicated what they hoped would be a more relaxed period of their life to running their local branch of the Grandparents' Association.
'When their marriage broke up, naturally we were sad, but we never envisaged it would mean not seeing Charlotte'
Depressingly, yet again, Jane and Marc are victims of divorce. Their eldest son Andrew, 32, had been with his partner for four years, then married for two, when the relationship broke down four years ago.
'Right now, Marc and I are steeling ourselves because we don't know how we will face another Christmas without seeing our only grandchild,' says Jane.
'Charlotte is aged nine now. She has always loved Christmas, but it is two years since I saw her and I don't even know if she will remember us, let alone the times we sat making cards with glue and glitter.
'Although her mother is in a new relationship, we never dreamed that we would find ourselves in this situation.
'When their marriage broke up, naturally we were sad, but we never envisaged it would mean not seeing Charlotte.
'Andrew has never tried for custody - he never wanted to take Charlotte away from her mum. All he's ever wanted is to be able to see her. But although Charlotte always said she wouldn't deny him access, this isn't the reality.
'We have informally consulted solicitors to try to see her, but we are having to face the reality that her mother has simply forged a new life and, for some reason, does not want us in it.'
In a particularly upsetting turn of events, Jane says her former daughter-in-law has actually written to her son telling him that Charlotte does not want anything to do with any of them, including Andrew himself.
They are words that Jane is unsure she can believe, but words that are painful nonetheless.
'We had such a wonderful relationship with our granddaughter that it's hard to believe she would really want such a thing,' says Jane. 'Perhaps Charlotte's mother sees us as a reminder of her old life.
'We send presents and cards on her birthday, but we never hear if Charlotte has received them or not. And if we send presents by recorded delivery, they are often returned saying they were unable to deliver them. It is so heartbreaking.
'All we can hope is that when Charlotte is old enough to make up her own mind, she will realise she does have other blood family who love her dearly, and she will make her own mind up that she does want to see us.'
• Names have been changed.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1223652/Were-banned-seeing-grandchildren---pain-tearing-apart.html#ixzz0VKJ1bOLR
By Natasha Courtenay-Smith
Last updated at 8:00 AM on 29th October 2009
Like most grandparents, Barbara Fisher and her husband Mike revelled in the opportunity to experience childhood again through the eyes of their two grandchildren, and to be able to nurture and watch them grow without the responsibility of being full-time parents.
Indeed, there would be few who could argue that Barbara, a retired PA, and Mike, a former deputy headmaster, were not doting and adoring grandparents.
Living just two miles from their son Simon and his children, Sam, five, and Evie, three, they happily stepped in to look after the children twice a week while their daughter-in-law, Louise, went to work.
Many grandparenst have found their relationship with their grandchildren has been compromised after a divorce in the family
Not only did they take over practical tasks, such as ferrying their grandchildren to and from playgroup, but they also baked fairy cakes with them and helped teach their grandchildren how to plant vegetables in the garden. It was a set-up that benefitted everyone.
Yet today, Barbara and Mike have not set eyes on their grandchildren for more than a year-and-a-half.
Following their son's acrimonious divorce from Louise, 35, an accounts clerk, in March 2008, the family splintered.
'No parent wants to believe that their child's marriage will end in divorce'
And Barbara and Mike say it's them, the grandparents, who are paying the ultimate price for the breakdown of their son's marriage.
'I cry when I look back at photos of them in our kitchen with chocolate on their faces after helping me to bake buns, and in the garden helping Mike water the vegetables with their little plastic watering cans,' says Barbara, who lives in Droitwitch Spa, Worcestershire.
'Mike and I adored looking after Sam and Evie. We didn't see looking after them while their mother worked as a chore. Far from it - we loved every moment of being with the children.
'Parents are so busy these days, because most families need two incomes - but grandparents like us have the luxury of time to do these simple but important activities with our grandkids.
'We knew Simon and Louise had been having difficulties in their marriage and arguing a lot, but we thought they'd work it out.
Grandparents have been promised new access rights to help in often traumatic divorce cases where they end up losing touch with their grandchildren
'We were careful not to take sides, and in fact we'd always got on really well with our daughter-in-law - and she seemed very appreciative of our help with the children.
'When Simon told us they had decided to separate, it still came as a shock. No parent wants to believe that their child's marriage will end in divorce. But it never even entered our heads that we wouldn't be allowed to see our grandchildren.'
But just weeks after the divorce, Louise told the couple they could no longer see Sam and Evie.
'I rang her on a Sunday afternoon, as I always did, to arrange picking up Sam and Evie the following day before she went to work,' recalls Barbara.
'She simply stated that they were her children and that it was up to her who they saw. We were devastated'
'But she told me very coldly that she didn't need us to look after them any more, that she'd arranged for a friend to do it instead.
'I was incredibly upset. When I questioned why, and told her that we loved having the kids and still wanted to continue with that arrangement, all she said was: "Sorry, but I don't feel it's appropriate any more. They're my children and I don't want them to be with you while Simon and I are fighting one another for custody and access rights." '
So desperate were the couple to see Sam and Evie that they repeatedly tried pleading with Louise on the phone. 'But she wouldn't hear any of it and eventually stopped taking our calls,' says Barbara.
When they reached a dead end, Mike even turned up on her doorstep in an attempt to reason with her.
Grandparents are often the forgotten victims in divorce cases where custody of the children ends up being taken by just one of parents
'Louise wouldn't even let Mike into the house. She simply stated that they were her children and that it was up to her who they saw. We were devastated. We still are.
'In many ways, we feel like we're grieving. The pain is physical because we miss Sam and Evie so much. We already feel we have missed out on so much of their little lives now.
'Worse, we have no idea when, or if, we'll be allowed to see them again - and that's just too painful a thought to bear.'
There are 14 million grandparents in the UK, and according to figures from the Grandparents' Association a staggering million of these have lost contact with their grandchildren.
'The effect on grandparents is extremely traumatising'
'At the moment, as the law stands, grandparents have no voice,' says David Shields, spokesperson for the Grandparents' Association.
'They have no more rights than a stranger. They don't even have a right to stay in touch with their grandchildren.
'Our helpline receives up to 50 calls a day from grandparents who are often desperate and distraught. We do all we can, but the bottom line is that legally there is nothing there to help them. It's a deeply unfair situation, and the effect on many grandparents is extremely traumatising.'
And as journalist and author Andrea Kon knows only too well, grandchildren do not escape emotionally unscathed either. Her own mother died when she was three years old, and as a result of a family row she lost touch with her grandmother.
The fallout from a divorce often has a devastating effect on the relationship between grandparents and their grandchildren - a relationship which is crucially important to both parties
To this day, Andrea is haunted by an incident which occurred when she was seven years old, in which a stranger approached her outside her school gates, saying she was her grandmother.
Not recognising her, Andrea was terrified, screamed and ran away, convinced she was being chased.
She says: 'Years later, I learned the truth - that my grandmother, unable to bear the thought of not watching me grow up, had been at the school gates every single day to catch a glimpse of me in the playground.
'And one day, it had all got too much. She couldn't help but approach me, her dead daughter's daughter. What must it have done to her that I ran away from her, screeching with fear? We never did meet again.
'Only now that I have grandchildren of my own do I realise how much she must have suffered and how much I lost out, never really knowing about my roots and never being able to ask the questions my
grandchildren ask me now, such as: "What was my mummy like when she was a little girl?"
'It is an absolute tragedy that this situation is being played out in thousands of homes across Britain today.'
'In the bedroom she used when she stayed, her favourite soft toys are still there waiting for her'
Yet on Monday, grandparents such as the Fishers were presented with a glimmer of hope when Shadow Tory Minister David Willetts announced that if the Conservatives win the next election, the law will be changed to ensure that grandparents do not lose contact with their grandchildren after a family separation, divorce or bereavement.
To Barbara Fisher, this news is long overdue.
She says: 'We've sought legal advice in the past, but have been told by a solicitor with whom we are friends that grandparents don't get a look-in in divorce cases. Even our son is powerless to help us, and he's furious about the situation.
'Louise is still denying him access, too. I have no idea how this is allowed to happen legally, but the family courts just don't seem to operate in the best interests of the children. They just seem to bow down to the mother.
'Those children are our flesh and blood, and our life is empty without them. Whatever went wrong between Louise and our son isn't our fault - or the children's. Yet we're all being punished.'
These are sentiments shared by retired hoteliers Marion and John Mitchell, who live in a penthouse apartment overlooking the sea front in Llandudno, North Wales.
The couple, who have three children, are estranged from one of their five granddaughters - six-year-old Emma.
'Although we see our other grandchildren, nothing is more heartbreaking than not seeing Emma,' says Marion. 'We just can't forget all our memories with her. John used to take her for walks along the seafront and everyone said what a beautiful little girl she was. John was always so proud.
'He taught her how to build rocky stone castles on the pebbly beach and how to skim stones. In the bedroom she used when she stayed, her favourite soft toys, dolls and games are still there waiting for her. We can't bear to put them away. We just hope that one day she will be visiting us regularly again.'
Until Emma was 18 months old, Marion, 62, and John, 69, regularly cared for her.
Their efforts, they say, enabled their son Paul and his partner to go out to their jobs in retail.
'For ten months, she didn't allow even Paul to see his daughter, let alone us'
So when the couple broke up, the last thing Marion and John expected was that they'd lose contact with the little girl.
'Obviously any break-up is upsetting, but we never realised we would be stopped from seeing our grandchild,' says Marion.
'Yet it seemed that overnight Emma's mum, who'd met another man, didn't want anything to do with us. For ten months, she didn't allow even Paul to see his daughter, let alone us.
'It was absolutely devastating because Emma had been such a huge part of our lives.'
Ten months after the break-up, Paul gained some access and his parents were allowed to see Emma on occasional weekends too.
This set-up proved short-lived, however, and since Easter, contact between the Mitchells and their granddaughter has once again stopped.
And this is despite the fact that their son has been officially granted access in the courts. 'Emma's mother has remarried and now we don't see Emma at all,' says Marion. 'It is tearing us apart.
'Children change so quickly and we are desperately worried that, because she is so young, she will forget us. We feel it is incredibly important for grandparents to have rights, and we won't give up trying to see the little girl we love so much.'
So strongly do Jane Jackson, 57, a retired teaching assistant, and her husband Marc Jackson, 61, a retired supermarket manager, feel about the matter that they have dedicated what they hoped would be a more relaxed period of their life to running their local branch of the Grandparents' Association.
'When their marriage broke up, naturally we were sad, but we never envisaged it would mean not seeing Charlotte'
Depressingly, yet again, Jane and Marc are victims of divorce. Their eldest son Andrew, 32, had been with his partner for four years, then married for two, when the relationship broke down four years ago.
'Right now, Marc and I are steeling ourselves because we don't know how we will face another Christmas without seeing our only grandchild,' says Jane.
'Charlotte is aged nine now. She has always loved Christmas, but it is two years since I saw her and I don't even know if she will remember us, let alone the times we sat making cards with glue and glitter.
'Although her mother is in a new relationship, we never dreamed that we would find ourselves in this situation.
'When their marriage broke up, naturally we were sad, but we never envisaged it would mean not seeing Charlotte.
'Andrew has never tried for custody - he never wanted to take Charlotte away from her mum. All he's ever wanted is to be able to see her. But although Charlotte always said she wouldn't deny him access, this isn't the reality.
'We have informally consulted solicitors to try to see her, but we are having to face the reality that her mother has simply forged a new life and, for some reason, does not want us in it.'
In a particularly upsetting turn of events, Jane says her former daughter-in-law has actually written to her son telling him that Charlotte does not want anything to do with any of them, including Andrew himself.
They are words that Jane is unsure she can believe, but words that are painful nonetheless.
'We had such a wonderful relationship with our granddaughter that it's hard to believe she would really want such a thing,' says Jane. 'Perhaps Charlotte's mother sees us as a reminder of her old life.
'We send presents and cards on her birthday, but we never hear if Charlotte has received them or not. And if we send presents by recorded delivery, they are often returned saying they were unable to deliver them. It is so heartbreaking.
'All we can hope is that when Charlotte is old enough to make up her own mind, she will realise she does have other blood family who love her dearly, and she will make her own mind up that she does want to see us.'
• Names have been changed.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1223652/Were-banned-seeing-grandchildren---pain-tearing-apart.html#ixzz0VKJ1bOLR
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
http://www.examiner.com/x-26804-South-Jersey-Single-Moms-Examiner~y2009m10d27-Child-abuse-deaths-on-the-rise
Child abuse deaths on the rise
October 27, 12:48 PM
Children of all ages can be the victims of abuse.
According to a study by The National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System (NCANDS) 1,760 American children died as a result of abuse or neglect in 2007. (Read the AP article here.) Last week, children’s advocates pressed our leaders in Washington to raise funding for child welfare agencies in order to help children who are victims of abuse, and also to help state agencies develop prevention programs.
Child protective services across the nation are experiencing a shortage of manpower to respond to the growing number of suspected abuses, and lately there has been a call not only for more social workers, but for the support and awareness of the community.
While we all consider the inner-relationships of another family to be sacred, the safety of children is ultimately the responsibility of every adult who knows them. Prevent Child Abuse America provides an article on ways to recognize child abuse.
The physical and emotional abuse of a child is many times the result of misplaced anger directed at the child. It is easy to become frustrated with the challenges of everyday life and parenting, and perhaps some parents need to learn to thoughtfully express and control their frustrations. Find here a link the PCAA’s article “Twelve alternatives to lashing out.”
So what can you do? If you know a parent who is overwhelmed, you may have a chance to prevent the types of circumstances that lead to a high-stress household and potential abuse. Offer your time and support, and if warranted, your advice. Know a child personally, so that you may be better able to recognize signs of abuse, and more importantly, allow that child to know that there is someone who cares for them. Finally, help raise awareness within your community so that we can all support happy childhoods.
If you or someone you know is aware of an abuse, or if you feel that a family you know is in need of support, contact your local child welfare agency.
Child abuse deaths on the rise
October 27, 12:48 PM
Children of all ages can be the victims of abuse.
According to a study by The National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System (NCANDS) 1,760 American children died as a result of abuse or neglect in 2007. (Read the AP article here.) Last week, children’s advocates pressed our leaders in Washington to raise funding for child welfare agencies in order to help children who are victims of abuse, and also to help state agencies develop prevention programs.
Child protective services across the nation are experiencing a shortage of manpower to respond to the growing number of suspected abuses, and lately there has been a call not only for more social workers, but for the support and awareness of the community.
While we all consider the inner-relationships of another family to be sacred, the safety of children is ultimately the responsibility of every adult who knows them. Prevent Child Abuse America provides an article on ways to recognize child abuse.
The physical and emotional abuse of a child is many times the result of misplaced anger directed at the child. It is easy to become frustrated with the challenges of everyday life and parenting, and perhaps some parents need to learn to thoughtfully express and control their frustrations. Find here a link the PCAA’s article “Twelve alternatives to lashing out.”
So what can you do? If you know a parent who is overwhelmed, you may have a chance to prevent the types of circumstances that lead to a high-stress household and potential abuse. Offer your time and support, and if warranted, your advice. Know a child personally, so that you may be better able to recognize signs of abuse, and more importantly, allow that child to know that there is someone who cares for them. Finally, help raise awareness within your community so that we can all support happy childhoods.
If you or someone you know is aware of an abuse, or if you feel that a family you know is in need of support, contact your local child welfare agency.
Violent Crime by Women Shows Rise
Violent Crime By Women Shows Rise
22-Oct-09
Violent crime by women has risen by 81% in a decade, figures have revealed...
The number of females convicted of assaults, other attacks and murder went up from 6,937 in 1998 to 12,573 in 2007, Government data showed. According to the figures, given in response to a Parliamentary question by the Conservatives, murders have more than doubled, woundings have gone up by a fifth and common assault has risen by 151%.
A total of 19 women were found guilty of murder in 2007 - the latest year for which figures are available - compared with nine in 1998. Convictions of women for life-threatening woundings rose from 99 in 1998 to 119 in 2007, while other woundings increased from 3,301 to 3,985 in the period. The number of females found guilty of common assault rose from 3,209 in 1998 to 8,068 in 2007, the figures showed. Shadow home secretary Chris Grayling said: "These figures are very alarming and it's pretty clear that they are at least in part a consequence of the binge drinking culture that has grown up around the country. "It's now clear that Labour's licensing reforms were a big mistake and we will take major steps to reform the system to tax super-strength alcohol and to stop supermarkets selling booze at a low cost price."
It is a shame that Chris Grayling and others will not face the reality that it is feminism and not "binge drinking" which is at the root of this epidemic. Probably because blaming a neutral thing such as booze will not lose them votes.
22-Oct-09
Violent crime by women has risen by 81% in a decade, figures have revealed...
The number of females convicted of assaults, other attacks and murder went up from 6,937 in 1998 to 12,573 in 2007, Government data showed. According to the figures, given in response to a Parliamentary question by the Conservatives, murders have more than doubled, woundings have gone up by a fifth and common assault has risen by 151%.
A total of 19 women were found guilty of murder in 2007 - the latest year for which figures are available - compared with nine in 1998. Convictions of women for life-threatening woundings rose from 99 in 1998 to 119 in 2007, while other woundings increased from 3,301 to 3,985 in the period. The number of females found guilty of common assault rose from 3,209 in 1998 to 8,068 in 2007, the figures showed. Shadow home secretary Chris Grayling said: "These figures are very alarming and it's pretty clear that they are at least in part a consequence of the binge drinking culture that has grown up around the country. "It's now clear that Labour's licensing reforms were a big mistake and we will take major steps to reform the system to tax super-strength alcohol and to stop supermarkets selling booze at a low cost price."
It is a shame that Chris Grayling and others will not face the reality that it is feminism and not "binge drinking" which is at the root of this epidemic. Probably because blaming a neutral thing such as booze will not lose them votes.
Grandparent carers struggling below poverty line.
Grandparent carers struggling below the poverty line
By Ross Watson
Children & Young People Now
27 October 2009
More than one in three grandparent carers looking after children are living below the poverty line, according to research from Grandparents Plus.
The study is based on interviews with 100 family and friends carers, the majority of whom are grandparents.
According to the findings, 38 per cent of carers are on an income of less than £200 a week. The study also reveals that two-thirds of carers had not received any support from social services.
Of those who had, three-quarters were dissatisfied with the services they received. One in five carers also stated that they currently receive no benefits or allowances.
"We can now see very clearly the intolerable stress and poverty that grandparents who step in to bring up their grandchildren face every day of their lives," said Grandparents Plus chief executive Sam Smethers.
"If the children they care for were in foster care they would each cost the taxpayer £40,000 per year. A small amount of support for family and friends carers would be cost-effective, keeping children out of the care system."
By Ross Watson
Children & Young People Now
27 October 2009
More than one in three grandparent carers looking after children are living below the poverty line, according to research from Grandparents Plus.
The study is based on interviews with 100 family and friends carers, the majority of whom are grandparents.
According to the findings, 38 per cent of carers are on an income of less than £200 a week. The study also reveals that two-thirds of carers had not received any support from social services.
Of those who had, three-quarters were dissatisfied with the services they received. One in five carers also stated that they currently receive no benefits or allowances.
"We can now see very clearly the intolerable stress and poverty that grandparents who step in to bring up their grandchildren face every day of their lives," said Grandparents Plus chief executive Sam Smethers.
"If the children they care for were in foster care they would each cost the taxpayer £40,000 per year. A small amount of support for family and friends carers would be cost-effective, keeping children out of the care system."
Monday, October 26, 2009
Power to the grandparents
Power to the grandparents: Tories to hand out sweeping legal rights to keep families together
By James Chapman
Last updated at 9:12 AM on 26th October 2009
• Comments (138)
• Add to My Stories
Millions of grandparents will be given sweeping new legal rights if the Tories win the next election.
The law will be changed to ensure they do not lose contact with their grandchildren after a family separation, divorce or bereavement.
They will also be put at the front of the custody queue if their grandchildren face being fostered or taken into care.
If the Tories win the next election the law will be changed to ensure grandparents do not lose contact with their grandchildren (Posed by models)
The changes were revealed by Shadow Cabinet minister David Willetts, who speaks for the party on the family, in an interview with the Daily Mail.
He said it was a scandal that there was currently 'little or no' recognition of the vital role grandparents play in society.
Research suggests they are increasingly relied upon by their children for help with childcare and finances, and by teenage grandchildren for advice and support they may not get at home.
Grandparents currently have no rights to keep in contact with grandchildren after a parental split.
Shadow Cabinet minister David Willetts said grandparents' rights must be improved
Almost half face the heartbreak of being cut off completely and never seeing the youngsters again. Those whose sons are involved in a split fare the worst.
On custody, Mr Willetts said local councils would be required to put grandparents at the 'top of the list' of potential carers if parents were deemed no longer fit to look after them, or in the event of a family tragedy. In one recent controversial case, social workers decided to re-home two children with a gay couple after their mother's parents were judged 'too old'.
Edinburgh Council took the decision even though the grandparents had cared for the boy and girl while their daughter fought a heroin addiction.
There was an angry reaction from the public, politicians and church leaders, who accused social work chiefs of 'politically correct' posturing.
The Tories are also considering making it easier for grandparents to qualify for childcare tax credits for the informal care they give their grandchildren, though pressure on the public finances may delay such a move.
Currently, tax credits are extended only for formal care such as a nursery or childminder.
The blueprint to boost grandparents' rights will be part of a major family policy paper to be published by the Tories in the next few months. It is also expected to give more details of how the party plans to recognise marriage in the tax and benefits system.
Mr Willetts said: 'Grandparents are fantastically important members of strong families and they do an increasing amount, particularly in terms of childcare. Lots of parents rely on the support they give.
'They also help with the family finances, where there are big flows of support from grandparents to parents and grandchildren.
'And, very interestingly, they are often a good source of advice for teenagers. There is fascinating research about which members of their family they would talk to about a problem, which showed grandparents often scoring above parents.
'But there's little or no recognition of the role of grandparents in the way the Government has constructed its family policy. A Conservative government would change that.'
Mr Willetts pointed to a study which found that childcare by grandparents saves parents an estimated £3.9billion a year.
Separate research, by HSBC, found that 16 per cent of grandparents in their 60s and a third of those in their 70s give financial support to grandchildren.
Some 27 per cent of children aged 11 to 16 say they can share things with grandparents which they cannot talk to their parents about. The figure rises to 35 per cent for their maternal grandmothers.
A recent study found that childcare by grandparents saves parents an estimated £3.9billion a year
Research also suggests a strong link between the involvement of grandparents and the well-being of children, teenagers in particular. Contact with children after their parents split is currently controlled by the 1989 Children Act. It gave step-parents of more than three years the right to apply for contact, but did not extend the same right to grandparents.
They have to apply to the courts even to be given permission to request some sort of contact, a lengthy and expensive process.
The Tory plan may raise concerns that access agreements will become over-complicated - for instance, where a mother has to agree to maintain contact with both an ex-husband and his parents.
But Mr Willetts said the courts would continue to be able to decide what was in a child's best interests.
He said: 'The legal framework at the moment is that the interests of the child must come first and of course that is right.
'But we must improve the rights of grandparents to have access to children.
'The courts should at least have to consider whether there should be continuing legal rights to access in the event of family breakdown. 'It's also wrong that only half of local authorities have a policy that families should be considered as a first option before a child is fostered or taken into care. Grandparents must have a right to be the legal guardians of the child.'
In a wide-ranging interview, Mr Willetts, who is also responsible for Tory policy on universities, detailed plans to provide a temporary 10,000 more university places amid fears that talented school-leavers will end up on the dole because of a shortage.
The scheme would be funded by encouraging graduates to repay student loan debts early by offering them a 10 per cent discount.
WE COULDN'T EVEN SEND A CARD
When Helen McDonald's son and daughter-in-law split up, she and her husband Bill, above, were completely cut out of their grandsons' lives.
The couple had been very close to the boys, then 14 and nine, taking them to museums, National Trust properties and on countryside holidays. Mr McDonald taught them to swim and ride a bike.
Bill and Helen McDonald spent two years and thousands of pounds fighting for access to see their grandsons
But after the marriage breakdown their mother refused to let them see or even speak to their grandparents.
'It was terrible,' said Mrs McDonald, a 64-year-old retired nurse from Kilmarnock. 'We were cut out of their lives, just like that. I cried for months.
'We couldn't even give them presents. I sent the elder boy a birthday card at his school, but the headmaster returned it, saying his mother had ordered he was not to receive anything whatsoever from us.'
The couple spent two years and thousands of pounds fighting for access. But the happy reunion finally happened only after the older boy, now 16, phoned to say he was coming to stay.
'The courts did absolutely nothing,' said Mrs McDonald. 'Social services refused to believe anything we said and lawyers just wanted to take our money and then say nothing could be done.
'But when our grandson said he wanted to see us no one could stop him because the child's wishes are paramount. It opened the gates for his younger brother to stay, too.' The McDonalds now see the boys regularly.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1222926/Power-grandparents-Tories-hand-sweeping-legal-rights-families-together.html#ixzz0V2VauwRp
By James Chapman
Last updated at 9:12 AM on 26th October 2009
• Comments (138)
• Add to My Stories
Millions of grandparents will be given sweeping new legal rights if the Tories win the next election.
The law will be changed to ensure they do not lose contact with their grandchildren after a family separation, divorce or bereavement.
They will also be put at the front of the custody queue if their grandchildren face being fostered or taken into care.
If the Tories win the next election the law will be changed to ensure grandparents do not lose contact with their grandchildren (Posed by models)
The changes were revealed by Shadow Cabinet minister David Willetts, who speaks for the party on the family, in an interview with the Daily Mail.
He said it was a scandal that there was currently 'little or no' recognition of the vital role grandparents play in society.
Research suggests they are increasingly relied upon by their children for help with childcare and finances, and by teenage grandchildren for advice and support they may not get at home.
Grandparents currently have no rights to keep in contact with grandchildren after a parental split.
Shadow Cabinet minister David Willetts said grandparents' rights must be improved
Almost half face the heartbreak of being cut off completely and never seeing the youngsters again. Those whose sons are involved in a split fare the worst.
On custody, Mr Willetts said local councils would be required to put grandparents at the 'top of the list' of potential carers if parents were deemed no longer fit to look after them, or in the event of a family tragedy. In one recent controversial case, social workers decided to re-home two children with a gay couple after their mother's parents were judged 'too old'.
Edinburgh Council took the decision even though the grandparents had cared for the boy and girl while their daughter fought a heroin addiction.
There was an angry reaction from the public, politicians and church leaders, who accused social work chiefs of 'politically correct' posturing.
The Tories are also considering making it easier for grandparents to qualify for childcare tax credits for the informal care they give their grandchildren, though pressure on the public finances may delay such a move.
Currently, tax credits are extended only for formal care such as a nursery or childminder.
The blueprint to boost grandparents' rights will be part of a major family policy paper to be published by the Tories in the next few months. It is also expected to give more details of how the party plans to recognise marriage in the tax and benefits system.
Mr Willetts said: 'Grandparents are fantastically important members of strong families and they do an increasing amount, particularly in terms of childcare. Lots of parents rely on the support they give.
'They also help with the family finances, where there are big flows of support from grandparents to parents and grandchildren.
'And, very interestingly, they are often a good source of advice for teenagers. There is fascinating research about which members of their family they would talk to about a problem, which showed grandparents often scoring above parents.
'But there's little or no recognition of the role of grandparents in the way the Government has constructed its family policy. A Conservative government would change that.'
Mr Willetts pointed to a study which found that childcare by grandparents saves parents an estimated £3.9billion a year.
Separate research, by HSBC, found that 16 per cent of grandparents in their 60s and a third of those in their 70s give financial support to grandchildren.
Some 27 per cent of children aged 11 to 16 say they can share things with grandparents which they cannot talk to their parents about. The figure rises to 35 per cent for their maternal grandmothers.
A recent study found that childcare by grandparents saves parents an estimated £3.9billion a year
Research also suggests a strong link between the involvement of grandparents and the well-being of children, teenagers in particular. Contact with children after their parents split is currently controlled by the 1989 Children Act. It gave step-parents of more than three years the right to apply for contact, but did not extend the same right to grandparents.
They have to apply to the courts even to be given permission to request some sort of contact, a lengthy and expensive process.
The Tory plan may raise concerns that access agreements will become over-complicated - for instance, where a mother has to agree to maintain contact with both an ex-husband and his parents.
But Mr Willetts said the courts would continue to be able to decide what was in a child's best interests.
He said: 'The legal framework at the moment is that the interests of the child must come first and of course that is right.
'But we must improve the rights of grandparents to have access to children.
'The courts should at least have to consider whether there should be continuing legal rights to access in the event of family breakdown. 'It's also wrong that only half of local authorities have a policy that families should be considered as a first option before a child is fostered or taken into care. Grandparents must have a right to be the legal guardians of the child.'
In a wide-ranging interview, Mr Willetts, who is also responsible for Tory policy on universities, detailed plans to provide a temporary 10,000 more university places amid fears that talented school-leavers will end up on the dole because of a shortage.
The scheme would be funded by encouraging graduates to repay student loan debts early by offering them a 10 per cent discount.
WE COULDN'T EVEN SEND A CARD
When Helen McDonald's son and daughter-in-law split up, she and her husband Bill, above, were completely cut out of their grandsons' lives.
The couple had been very close to the boys, then 14 and nine, taking them to museums, National Trust properties and on countryside holidays. Mr McDonald taught them to swim and ride a bike.
Bill and Helen McDonald spent two years and thousands of pounds fighting for access to see their grandsons
But after the marriage breakdown their mother refused to let them see or even speak to their grandparents.
'It was terrible,' said Mrs McDonald, a 64-year-old retired nurse from Kilmarnock. 'We were cut out of their lives, just like that. I cried for months.
'We couldn't even give them presents. I sent the elder boy a birthday card at his school, but the headmaster returned it, saying his mother had ordered he was not to receive anything whatsoever from us.'
The couple spent two years and thousands of pounds fighting for access. But the happy reunion finally happened only after the older boy, now 16, phoned to say he was coming to stay.
'The courts did absolutely nothing,' said Mrs McDonald. 'Social services refused to believe anything we said and lawyers just wanted to take our money and then say nothing could be done.
'But when our grandson said he wanted to see us no one could stop him because the child's wishes are paramount. It opened the gates for his younger brother to stay, too.' The McDonalds now see the boys regularly.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1222926/Power-grandparents-Tories-hand-sweeping-legal-rights-families-together.html#ixzz0V2VauwRp
Friday, October 23, 2009
Update on the Scots mother who fled to the Irish Republic.
Update on the Scots Mother who fled to the Republic of Ireland for justice.
As she tells us her story she weeps is there justice anywhere when one deals with social services no matter what country you are living in.
A judge in Ireland has said the mother was to get her daughter back on the 4th November but the social services does not want her returned until she has a home for her which the mother is searching night and day for.
Surely the social services in Scotland and Ireland have interfered enough in this mother and daughter’s life and needs to butt out. A judge has seen fit to reunite them so let it be so, or is there collusion with the Scottish social services to harass them to breaking point. Get out of their lives and let them be together.
The Scottish social services have told her son in Scotland that her mother is in jail in Ireland and if he contacts his mothers relatives at all he will be taken into care
At present the mother is living in an Irish homeless hostel run by nuns with other families living there as well so why can’t the mother and daughter be reunited there like those other families? Is there something wrong with this catholic run home that social services in Ireland are not revealing are they saying it is not fit for children to live in.
Jimmy Deuchars
Grandparents Apart UK
22 Alness crescent
Glasgow G52 1PJ
0141 882 5658
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
As she tells us her story she weeps is there justice anywhere when one deals with social services no matter what country you are living in.
A judge in Ireland has said the mother was to get her daughter back on the 4th November but the social services does not want her returned until she has a home for her which the mother is searching night and day for.
Surely the social services in Scotland and Ireland have interfered enough in this mother and daughter’s life and needs to butt out. A judge has seen fit to reunite them so let it be so, or is there collusion with the Scottish social services to harass them to breaking point. Get out of their lives and let them be together.
The Scottish social services have told her son in Scotland that her mother is in jail in Ireland and if he contacts his mothers relatives at all he will be taken into care
At present the mother is living in an Irish homeless hostel run by nuns with other families living there as well so why can’t the mother and daughter be reunited there like those other families? Is there something wrong with this catholic run home that social services in Ireland are not revealing are they saying it is not fit for children to live in.
Jimmy Deuchars
Grandparents Apart UK
22 Alness crescent
Glasgow G52 1PJ
0141 882 5658
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
New Grandparents group in Ireland
Westport forms first parish branch of new grandparents organisation
Mayo Advertiser, October 23, 2009.
History was made last night when Westport set up the first parish branch of the newly-formed
Catholic Grandparents Association.
The association, which has grown out of the popular National Grandparents Pilgrimages over the last three years, is now beginning the task of building branches around the country, and Westport was the first parish to formally establish a branch. “This is an historic night, and hopefully in years to come it will be remembered fondly. The Catholic Grandparents Association seeks to support grandparents in every way it can, and also assist them in their very important role of passing on the faith to their grandchildren,” said association founder Catherine Wiley, who lives in nearby Murrisk.
The next meeting of the organisation will take place on Tuesday, November 10, in Carrowbeg House, beside St Mary’s Parish Church, at 7.30pm. All are welcome. The election of officers to lead the Westport branch will take place at this meeting.
“The process of building branches around the country will be a very exciting one for grandparents,” added Mrs Wiley. “We have had huge interest from all over Ireland, and the attendance of 14,000 at this year’s National Grandparents Pilgrimage in Knock Shrine illustrates that grandparents are keen to come together to help transmit the faith.
“I have been getting a strong feeling of renewed hope from grandparents. They have been fearful about how the faith will be transmitted, but see hope in what is being done now with the
Catholic Grandparents Association.”
The Castlebar branch of the Catholic Grandparents Association will be formed at a meeting in the Travellers’ Friend Hotel, Castlebar, on Tuesday, October 27, at 7pm. All are welcome. Further details are available on www.nationalgrandparentspilgrimage.com.
More Stories
Mayo Advertiser, October 23, 2009.
History was made last night when Westport set up the first parish branch of the newly-formed
Catholic Grandparents Association.
The association, which has grown out of the popular National Grandparents Pilgrimages over the last three years, is now beginning the task of building branches around the country, and Westport was the first parish to formally establish a branch. “This is an historic night, and hopefully in years to come it will be remembered fondly. The Catholic Grandparents Association seeks to support grandparents in every way it can, and also assist them in their very important role of passing on the faith to their grandchildren,” said association founder Catherine Wiley, who lives in nearby Murrisk.
The next meeting of the organisation will take place on Tuesday, November 10, in Carrowbeg House, beside St Mary’s Parish Church, at 7.30pm. All are welcome. The election of officers to lead the Westport branch will take place at this meeting.
“The process of building branches around the country will be a very exciting one for grandparents,” added Mrs Wiley. “We have had huge interest from all over Ireland, and the attendance of 14,000 at this year’s National Grandparents Pilgrimage in Knock Shrine illustrates that grandparents are keen to come together to help transmit the faith.
“I have been getting a strong feeling of renewed hope from grandparents. They have been fearful about how the faith will be transmitted, but see hope in what is being done now with the
Catholic Grandparents Association.”
The Castlebar branch of the Catholic Grandparents Association will be formed at a meeting in the Travellers’ Friend Hotel, Castlebar, on Tuesday, October 27, at 7pm. All are welcome. Further details are available on www.nationalgrandparentspilgrimage.com.
More Stories
Supreme Court allows grandmothers appeal over residency.
Supreme Court allows grandmother's appeal over residence
http://www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.aspx?i=ed41472
First family decision of the Supreme Court
The Supreme Court, in its first decision on a family case, has reportedly overturned the Court of Appeal and the High Court in a case involving residence of a 3 year old child who had lived all his life with his grandmother.
The arguments in the case of Re B (A Child) (UKSC 2009/0019) centred on the significance of parenthood in the Court’s balancing exercise and the relative position of grandparents. In the event the original decision by the magistrates that he should live with the grandmother has been upheld. Reasons are to be delivered on a future date. It was an appeal from the Court of Appeal decision [2009] EWCA Civ 545 and the background can be read in that judgment.
http://www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.aspx?i=ed41472
First family decision of the Supreme Court
The Supreme Court, in its first decision on a family case, has reportedly overturned the Court of Appeal and the High Court in a case involving residence of a 3 year old child who had lived all his life with his grandmother.
The arguments in the case of Re B (A Child) (UKSC 2009/0019) centred on the significance of parenthood in the Court’s balancing exercise and the relative position of grandparents. In the event the original decision by the magistrates that he should live with the grandmother has been upheld. Reasons are to be delivered on a future date. It was an appeal from the Court of Appeal decision [2009] EWCA Civ 545 and the background can be read in that judgment.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
They wanted to take away our child.
They wanted to take away our child'
Since the death of Baby Peter, state applications to put children into care has risen by almost 50%, and innocent families are suffering.
by Heidi Blake Published: 7:00AM BST 21 Oct 2009
George and Liz McCulloch with daughter Emily Photo: ASHLEY COOMBES
In an inn on the banks of the Firth of Clyde, with the lights of the Kintyre peninsula twinkling on the water, a small group of friends is gathering. Middle-aged, smartly dressed and chatting over ginger beer, they blend in seamlessly with the post-work pub-goers in the town of Helensburgh. But these friends are united by every parent's darkest nightmare.
All have come terrifyingly close to having their children removed by the state.
George and Liz McCulloch committed one simple crime in the eyes of the authorities. They fought for a better standard of education for their disabled daughter; it was behaviour that Argyll and Bute Council called "emotional abuse". Their friends, Janice and Rory McCulloch (no relation), are well placed to sympathise, having fought off proceedings to take their own daughter into care five years ago during a disagreement with her school.
These friends are part of a growing network of parents across Britain who have faced losing their children after challenging the judgment of doctors, teachers or social workers. John Hemming MP, co-ordinator of the Justice for Families campaign, warned last month that child protection proceedings are being used as a punishment for "uppity parents".
Jean Robinson, of the Association for Improvements in Maternity Services, confirms that "parents who question or criticise professionals about their child's care risk being referred to social services for investigation".
Child protection referrals have rocketed in the wake of the tragic death of Baby Peter, and figures published yesterday by Cafcass, the organisation that represents children in the family courts, show applications to take children into state care have risen by more than 47 per cent since last year.
Although partly a product of over-caution by professionals terrified of making another fatal mistake, this disturbing heavy-handedness seems to spring, in some cases, from an authoritarian vindictiveness almost too Orwellian to be believed. But I have spoken to eight law-abiding, professional families, with a passionate interest in their children's lives, whose stories of abuse by the authorities are far more chilling than fiction.
George, 49, a team manager for Scottish Gas, is a large, gentle man. His 50-year-old wife, Liz, has a warm smile and sparkling green eyes. Their troubles began in 2005 when they made a request to have their visually impaired daughter Emily, then 12, moved from a local school, where she was bullied, under-performing and miserable, to the Royal Blind School in Edinburgh.
The local authority rejected the request, which would have cost £34,705 a year, both at the initial stage and at appeal. Undeterred, the couple started court proceedings to demand their statutory right, under the Scottish Education Act 2004, to have Emily moved to a school that met her special educational needs. "I told them face to face, we're taking this all the way because we want the very best for our daughter," says George.
It was then that things turned sour. Through a data protection request to the local authority, the couple discovered minutes to a series of secret child-protection meetings at which they had been accused of emotionally abusing Emily by persisting with the placing request.
"I was almost sick when I read what they had said about us," says Liz. "We felt like a half-cocked pea shooter against a canon because they were all colluding against us."
With the accusation in the open, social services called George and Liz to a meeting in February 2007 at which, they say, they were told that they would be taken to the Children's Reporter, who decides whether to start care proceedings against abusive parents, unless they abandoned the request.
'Liz was unable to speak she was so upset," says George. "But I told them this was fascist behaviour and they wouldn't get away with it. I said my father fought in the war so we could have freedom and you're threatening us to try to stop us exercising Emily's statutory right. You're abusing a good family for the sake of money."
After the local MSP, Jackie Baillie, took up the family's cause, proceedings were eventually put on hold, allowing George and Liz to pursue their court case, which they won in May last year. Sheriff Valerie Johnston ordered Argyll and Bute Council to send Emily to the Royal Blind School and pay the McCullochs' legal costs, noting that "a great deal of distress" had been caused to the family. The council refused to comment on the case.
Emily started her new education in September 2008, three years after the placing request was first made. "My new school is really nice," she says. "At my old school, I thought I was a bit worthless, but now I know I'm not because I can actually do things."
She is a now a bold, articulate girl of 16, but her eyes fill with tears when we talk about her parents' battle with the authorities. "I was heartbroken to see what they were doing to my mum and dad," she says. "I used to cry about it every night because I didn't want them to be called abusers – they are the best mum and dad in the world."
The McCullochs' case is not unusual. All over Britain there are similar stories. Sarah Langton* tells me hers on a bright autumn morning at her home in the south of England. Her eight and 11-year-old sons are playing happily in the next room, but she lives every day with the fear that she will lose them.
"I'm worried social services will find out I've spoken about what happened and make our lives hell," she says, her voice trembling. The 47-year-old is a softly spoken stay-at-home mother who suffered severe post-natal depression after the birth of her sons. Her husband Philip*, 50, an electronics engineer, sought help from social services, but the couple soon became uncomfortable about inaccuracies in the records of their meetings that looked like attempts cast them in a negative light.
Sarah recovered and was signed off in 2003, but the couple continued to feel anxious and eventually approached their MP for advice. He contacted the local authority to ask if the records could be amended, and within days Sarah received a telephone call to say the family was under investigation.
"They said it was because our complaint showed there was anger in the family, which is bad for the children," says Sarah.
The investigation lasted three months, in which time the boys were repeatedly interviewed by social workers, who eventually concluded that there was "no cause for concern". The inaccurate records were never addressed. "It's shocking that however much you love your children, there is a greater power that can threaten to take them away for no reason," says Sarah.
Kylie Thompson*, 24, knows how it feels to live in the shadow of that power. She tells me from her home in Yorkshire how her troubles began in 2007, when she took her two-year-old son to hospital to check a small red mark on his cheek. The paediatrician who examined him reported the family to social services in case it was caused by a "non-accidental injury".
The social workers who first came to assess the family saw at once that there was no cause for concern, and told Kylie not to worry. But, thinking the risk to her children had passed, she made the critical mistake of complaining about the paediatrician.
"Immediately after I complained, he changed his report and said it was definitely a non-accidental injury, rather than just a possibility," says Kylie. "He said it looked like it was caused by an adult grabbing my son's face and striking him a hard blow."
Because of the altered diagnosis, social services were obliged to launch an investigation, and Kylie was questioned by the police. Her son and daughter, then three, were placed on the child protection register, and the family were repeatedly visited by social workers scrutinising the children for signs of abuse.
The nightmare finally ended last February, a year after the paediatrician changed his diagnosis, when the children were removed from the register. "Even now, I'm terrified of my son getting a bruise or a cut and not being able to explain it," says Kylie. "It could all happen again."
Social work managers admit that overworked staff, who encounter aggression and abuse every day, can become vindictive without careful supervision and support. Even Kim Bromley-Derry, the chairman of the Association of Directors of Children's Services, confesses that the phenomenon is "obviously not uncommon".
"Ultimately, if there is a difference of opinion between a family and a social worker, who are all the other professionals going to believe? Inevitably, the family are in a much weaker position, and we have to prevent all abuses of that power imbalance," he says.
Mr Bromley-Derry urges social work managers to ensure staff are rigorously supervised and says parents should be offered an independent second opinion in cases of disagreement. His suggestion is echoed by John Hemming MP, who wants to see the right to a second opinion enshrined in the Family Courts.
There is no doubt that child protection professionals provide a crucial safety net for society's most vulnerable children. But when their attention is misdirected, they possess the power to destroy happy, loving families.
Jack Frost, who fought off attempts to remove his daughter after he complained about a paediatrician, sums up the horror. "You simply cannot imagine how it feels to look at your beautiful daughter every day and prepare yourself to have to say farewell to her forever."
Since the death of Baby Peter, state applications to put children into care has risen by almost 50%, and innocent families are suffering.
by Heidi Blake Published: 7:00AM BST 21 Oct 2009
George and Liz McCulloch with daughter Emily Photo: ASHLEY COOMBES
In an inn on the banks of the Firth of Clyde, with the lights of the Kintyre peninsula twinkling on the water, a small group of friends is gathering. Middle-aged, smartly dressed and chatting over ginger beer, they blend in seamlessly with the post-work pub-goers in the town of Helensburgh. But these friends are united by every parent's darkest nightmare.
All have come terrifyingly close to having their children removed by the state.
George and Liz McCulloch committed one simple crime in the eyes of the authorities. They fought for a better standard of education for their disabled daughter; it was behaviour that Argyll and Bute Council called "emotional abuse". Their friends, Janice and Rory McCulloch (no relation), are well placed to sympathise, having fought off proceedings to take their own daughter into care five years ago during a disagreement with her school.
These friends are part of a growing network of parents across Britain who have faced losing their children after challenging the judgment of doctors, teachers or social workers. John Hemming MP, co-ordinator of the Justice for Families campaign, warned last month that child protection proceedings are being used as a punishment for "uppity parents".
Jean Robinson, of the Association for Improvements in Maternity Services, confirms that "parents who question or criticise professionals about their child's care risk being referred to social services for investigation".
Child protection referrals have rocketed in the wake of the tragic death of Baby Peter, and figures published yesterday by Cafcass, the organisation that represents children in the family courts, show applications to take children into state care have risen by more than 47 per cent since last year.
Although partly a product of over-caution by professionals terrified of making another fatal mistake, this disturbing heavy-handedness seems to spring, in some cases, from an authoritarian vindictiveness almost too Orwellian to be believed. But I have spoken to eight law-abiding, professional families, with a passionate interest in their children's lives, whose stories of abuse by the authorities are far more chilling than fiction.
George, 49, a team manager for Scottish Gas, is a large, gentle man. His 50-year-old wife, Liz, has a warm smile and sparkling green eyes. Their troubles began in 2005 when they made a request to have their visually impaired daughter Emily, then 12, moved from a local school, where she was bullied, under-performing and miserable, to the Royal Blind School in Edinburgh.
The local authority rejected the request, which would have cost £34,705 a year, both at the initial stage and at appeal. Undeterred, the couple started court proceedings to demand their statutory right, under the Scottish Education Act 2004, to have Emily moved to a school that met her special educational needs. "I told them face to face, we're taking this all the way because we want the very best for our daughter," says George.
It was then that things turned sour. Through a data protection request to the local authority, the couple discovered minutes to a series of secret child-protection meetings at which they had been accused of emotionally abusing Emily by persisting with the placing request.
"I was almost sick when I read what they had said about us," says Liz. "We felt like a half-cocked pea shooter against a canon because they were all colluding against us."
With the accusation in the open, social services called George and Liz to a meeting in February 2007 at which, they say, they were told that they would be taken to the Children's Reporter, who decides whether to start care proceedings against abusive parents, unless they abandoned the request.
'Liz was unable to speak she was so upset," says George. "But I told them this was fascist behaviour and they wouldn't get away with it. I said my father fought in the war so we could have freedom and you're threatening us to try to stop us exercising Emily's statutory right. You're abusing a good family for the sake of money."
After the local MSP, Jackie Baillie, took up the family's cause, proceedings were eventually put on hold, allowing George and Liz to pursue their court case, which they won in May last year. Sheriff Valerie Johnston ordered Argyll and Bute Council to send Emily to the Royal Blind School and pay the McCullochs' legal costs, noting that "a great deal of distress" had been caused to the family. The council refused to comment on the case.
Emily started her new education in September 2008, three years after the placing request was first made. "My new school is really nice," she says. "At my old school, I thought I was a bit worthless, but now I know I'm not because I can actually do things."
She is a now a bold, articulate girl of 16, but her eyes fill with tears when we talk about her parents' battle with the authorities. "I was heartbroken to see what they were doing to my mum and dad," she says. "I used to cry about it every night because I didn't want them to be called abusers – they are the best mum and dad in the world."
The McCullochs' case is not unusual. All over Britain there are similar stories. Sarah Langton* tells me hers on a bright autumn morning at her home in the south of England. Her eight and 11-year-old sons are playing happily in the next room, but she lives every day with the fear that she will lose them.
"I'm worried social services will find out I've spoken about what happened and make our lives hell," she says, her voice trembling. The 47-year-old is a softly spoken stay-at-home mother who suffered severe post-natal depression after the birth of her sons. Her husband Philip*, 50, an electronics engineer, sought help from social services, but the couple soon became uncomfortable about inaccuracies in the records of their meetings that looked like attempts cast them in a negative light.
Sarah recovered and was signed off in 2003, but the couple continued to feel anxious and eventually approached their MP for advice. He contacted the local authority to ask if the records could be amended, and within days Sarah received a telephone call to say the family was under investigation.
"They said it was because our complaint showed there was anger in the family, which is bad for the children," says Sarah.
The investigation lasted three months, in which time the boys were repeatedly interviewed by social workers, who eventually concluded that there was "no cause for concern". The inaccurate records were never addressed. "It's shocking that however much you love your children, there is a greater power that can threaten to take them away for no reason," says Sarah.
Kylie Thompson*, 24, knows how it feels to live in the shadow of that power. She tells me from her home in Yorkshire how her troubles began in 2007, when she took her two-year-old son to hospital to check a small red mark on his cheek. The paediatrician who examined him reported the family to social services in case it was caused by a "non-accidental injury".
The social workers who first came to assess the family saw at once that there was no cause for concern, and told Kylie not to worry. But, thinking the risk to her children had passed, she made the critical mistake of complaining about the paediatrician.
"Immediately after I complained, he changed his report and said it was definitely a non-accidental injury, rather than just a possibility," says Kylie. "He said it looked like it was caused by an adult grabbing my son's face and striking him a hard blow."
Because of the altered diagnosis, social services were obliged to launch an investigation, and Kylie was questioned by the police. Her son and daughter, then three, were placed on the child protection register, and the family were repeatedly visited by social workers scrutinising the children for signs of abuse.
The nightmare finally ended last February, a year after the paediatrician changed his diagnosis, when the children were removed from the register. "Even now, I'm terrified of my son getting a bruise or a cut and not being able to explain it," says Kylie. "It could all happen again."
Social work managers admit that overworked staff, who encounter aggression and abuse every day, can become vindictive without careful supervision and support. Even Kim Bromley-Derry, the chairman of the Association of Directors of Children's Services, confesses that the phenomenon is "obviously not uncommon".
"Ultimately, if there is a difference of opinion between a family and a social worker, who are all the other professionals going to believe? Inevitably, the family are in a much weaker position, and we have to prevent all abuses of that power imbalance," he says.
Mr Bromley-Derry urges social work managers to ensure staff are rigorously supervised and says parents should be offered an independent second opinion in cases of disagreement. His suggestion is echoed by John Hemming MP, who wants to see the right to a second opinion enshrined in the Family Courts.
There is no doubt that child protection professionals provide a crucial safety net for society's most vulnerable children. But when their attention is misdirected, they possess the power to destroy happy, loving families.
Jack Frost, who fought off attempts to remove his daughter after he complained about a paediatrician, sums up the horror. "You simply cannot imagine how it feels to look at your beautiful daughter every day and prepare yourself to have to say farewell to her forever."
Adoption system is UKs shameful secret.
Adoption system is UK's shameful secret
See also
'Social workers took away my twins after I'd joked that birth spoilt my body'
More children in care go missing
What is being said in the Care Profiling Study
Investigators: Grandparents passed over in favor of foster care
Surge in children taken into care as recession stress takes toll on parents
The Lost Children
Bitter legacy of separation
Children left in misery because state care is so poor
Families Torn Apart:
Courts won't reveal rulings in adoption cases
Britain is the only country in Europe where children are routinely removed from their parents without consentBy Christopher Booker October 10, 2009 / Telegraph.co.ukThis week I return to one of the most disturbing stories this column has ever reported. It began on a morning in April 2007 when the home of a respectable middle-class family in Sussex was overrun by 18 policemen and two RSPCA officials, supposedly looking for guns. When the father, a professional dog breeder, volubly protested, he and his pregnant wife were arrested and handcuffed, to the horror of their watching five-year old daughter (whom I call, for legal reasons, "Jenny").East Sussex social workers were then called to remove the little girl. Her mother had a miscarriage while in custody and returned to an empty home, left in chaos. Jenny has remained in foster care ever since, and despite her parents pleading for her return through 74 legal hearings, the ruling by a family court judge last March that she be put out for adoption was upheld in July by the Appeal Court.
Having now seen further documents relating to this saga, I can understand why the family's GP wrote that in 33 years as a doctor he had never come across "such an appalling case of injustice". The first document was her parents' careful chronology of every step in the story, including transcriptions of many of their telephone conversations and meetings with Jenny, invariably under strict surveillance by social workers or the foster carer.The dominant impression from these recordings is of Jenny's desperation to be reunited with her parents, and of an increasingly distraught child who cannot understand what has been done to her. The parents claim that pressure was put on her constantly to say that she didn't want to see them again. Why did the family court judge not allow this evidence to be heard in court, although she did admit accounts of these "contacts" by the social workers?A second document is the judgment by Mr Justice Bodey in the Appeal Court confirming that Jenny must be put out for adoption. No evidence had been produced that her parents ever caused Jenny physical or mental harm. His ruling centred on two points. One was evidence that her home was a mess on the day of the raid, although those who knew the house well testify that it was normally clean and tidy. The other was that, when the family's home was invaded by 18 policemen (a figure confirmed by one policeman in evidence), the father verbally abused them in colourful fashion (but didn't attack them physically). Are these really adequate grounds for tearing a child and her parents permanently apart?A third document is the book Forced Abduction by Ian Josephs, a businessman who has taken an active interest in the removal of children from their parents by social workers ever since he was a Tory county councillor in the 1960s. He acted in part of the Jenny case as a "Mackenzie friend", that is, an informal assistant and adviser.
Mr Josephs shows that Britain is almost the only country in Europe which routinely allows children to be separated from parents without their consent. Indeed, he reproduces a press release put out in 2003 by Hammersmith & Fulham Council boasting how, under a Local Public Service Agreement, it had received a reward of £500,000 from central government for hitting its target of 101 adoptions in the year. This particular, highly controversial scheme of cash bonuses has, thankfully, since been abandoned.The impression given by these documents supports the GP's view that this is an "appalling case of injustice". Social workers, lawyers and judges seem enmeshed in a system heavily skewed towards putting children out for adoption – by a process so shrouded in secrecy that it seems designed more to protect the system itself than the interests of the child. Most alarming of all is that there seems no one with the authority to intervene in cases such as Jenny's, where that system appears to have left both a loving family and justice horribly betrayed.
See also
'Social workers took away my twins after I'd joked that birth spoilt my body'
More children in care go missing
What is being said in the Care Profiling Study
Investigators: Grandparents passed over in favor of foster care
Surge in children taken into care as recession stress takes toll on parents
The Lost Children
Bitter legacy of separation
Children left in misery because state care is so poor
Families Torn Apart:
Courts won't reveal rulings in adoption cases
Britain is the only country in Europe where children are routinely removed from their parents without consentBy Christopher Booker October 10, 2009 / Telegraph.co.ukThis week I return to one of the most disturbing stories this column has ever reported. It began on a morning in April 2007 when the home of a respectable middle-class family in Sussex was overrun by 18 policemen and two RSPCA officials, supposedly looking for guns. When the father, a professional dog breeder, volubly protested, he and his pregnant wife were arrested and handcuffed, to the horror of their watching five-year old daughter (whom I call, for legal reasons, "Jenny").East Sussex social workers were then called to remove the little girl. Her mother had a miscarriage while in custody and returned to an empty home, left in chaos. Jenny has remained in foster care ever since, and despite her parents pleading for her return through 74 legal hearings, the ruling by a family court judge last March that she be put out for adoption was upheld in July by the Appeal Court.
Having now seen further documents relating to this saga, I can understand why the family's GP wrote that in 33 years as a doctor he had never come across "such an appalling case of injustice". The first document was her parents' careful chronology of every step in the story, including transcriptions of many of their telephone conversations and meetings with Jenny, invariably under strict surveillance by social workers or the foster carer.The dominant impression from these recordings is of Jenny's desperation to be reunited with her parents, and of an increasingly distraught child who cannot understand what has been done to her. The parents claim that pressure was put on her constantly to say that she didn't want to see them again. Why did the family court judge not allow this evidence to be heard in court, although she did admit accounts of these "contacts" by the social workers?A second document is the judgment by Mr Justice Bodey in the Appeal Court confirming that Jenny must be put out for adoption. No evidence had been produced that her parents ever caused Jenny physical or mental harm. His ruling centred on two points. One was evidence that her home was a mess on the day of the raid, although those who knew the house well testify that it was normally clean and tidy. The other was that, when the family's home was invaded by 18 policemen (a figure confirmed by one policeman in evidence), the father verbally abused them in colourful fashion (but didn't attack them physically). Are these really adequate grounds for tearing a child and her parents permanently apart?A third document is the book Forced Abduction by Ian Josephs, a businessman who has taken an active interest in the removal of children from their parents by social workers ever since he was a Tory county councillor in the 1960s. He acted in part of the Jenny case as a "Mackenzie friend", that is, an informal assistant and adviser.
Mr Josephs shows that Britain is almost the only country in Europe which routinely allows children to be separated from parents without their consent. Indeed, he reproduces a press release put out in 2003 by Hammersmith & Fulham Council boasting how, under a Local Public Service Agreement, it had received a reward of £500,000 from central government for hitting its target of 101 adoptions in the year. This particular, highly controversial scheme of cash bonuses has, thankfully, since been abandoned.The impression given by these documents supports the GP's view that this is an "appalling case of injustice". Social workers, lawyers and judges seem enmeshed in a system heavily skewed towards putting children out for adoption – by a process so shrouded in secrecy that it seems designed more to protect the system itself than the interests of the child. Most alarming of all is that there seems no one with the authority to intervene in cases such as Jenny's, where that system appears to have left both a loving family and justice horribly betrayed.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
NSPCC, 32,000 children at risk in Britain today.
At breakfast this morning there I was watching an advert from NSPCC saying 32,000 children are at risk in Britain. How do we protect these children? The majority of them can be saved by early detection.
The NSPPC have their uses but early detection of child abuse is essential but not one of their strong points usually they only know after the abuse has taken place and the child is in hospital or worse.
This expertise for early detection of child abuse lies in the realm of the nearest and dearest , being mainly the grandparents who are in the best position to know their families shortcomings as they have usually suffered in the early stages of their son’s or daughter’s addiction. First hand knowledge and experience of their addiction to alcohol or drugs can be a life saver for children.
Why this phenomenon is not used and highlighted by the government beats the hell out of us. If the expertise and experience is there then it is criminal for the authorities not to use it for the protection of children. Children are dying because grandparents are not important enough to be classed as relevant persons in their grandchildren’s lives or to have at least information about their grandchildren’s welfare (as Children’s 1ST organisation has pointed out).
Grandparents are the biggest carer of children in times of crisis and save the country a fortune when social service turn up at the grandparents house at 2.00am in the morning asking grandparents to take the children in.
The “Charter for Grandchildren” created by the Scottish Government, if made mandatory for professionals who work in children’s welfare, will ensure the role grandparents can play in children’s lives would be used to the utmost for the child’s best interest.
The NSPPC have their uses but early detection of child abuse is essential but not one of their strong points usually they only know after the abuse has taken place and the child is in hospital or worse.
This expertise for early detection of child abuse lies in the realm of the nearest and dearest , being mainly the grandparents who are in the best position to know their families shortcomings as they have usually suffered in the early stages of their son’s or daughter’s addiction. First hand knowledge and experience of their addiction to alcohol or drugs can be a life saver for children.
Why this phenomenon is not used and highlighted by the government beats the hell out of us. If the expertise and experience is there then it is criminal for the authorities not to use it for the protection of children. Children are dying because grandparents are not important enough to be classed as relevant persons in their grandchildren’s lives or to have at least information about their grandchildren’s welfare (as Children’s 1ST organisation has pointed out).
Grandparents are the biggest carer of children in times of crisis and save the country a fortune when social service turn up at the grandparents house at 2.00am in the morning asking grandparents to take the children in.
The “Charter for Grandchildren” created by the Scottish Government, if made mandatory for professionals who work in children’s welfare, will ensure the role grandparents can play in children’s lives would be used to the utmost for the child’s best interest.
Good for you Frank
Dear Friends
I am so pleased to forward you this email which to me is a giant step towards a Charter for Grandchildren and I hope that the Ministers involved look favourably at our petition.
Getting to where we are has not been easy, and we are so indebted to the many councillors, AM's and good people who supported Grandparents Apart Wales in this campaign which is still ongoing.
The plight of grandchildren and grandparents needs spreading and perhaps by doing that we can strengthen family ties by bringing families together.
I have always tried to do things quietly and I pray this is the break through.
My thanks for your continued support which is so vital for GPAW.
Kind Regards.
Frank
Grandparents Apart WalesFrank Bradfield, 14 Amalfi Court, Craig-Don Parade, Llandudno. LL30 1BHTelephone Number 01492 874395
I am so pleased to forward you this email which to me is a giant step towards a Charter for Grandchildren and I hope that the Ministers involved look favourably at our petition.
Getting to where we are has not been easy, and we are so indebted to the many councillors, AM's and good people who supported Grandparents Apart Wales in this campaign which is still ongoing.
The plight of grandchildren and grandparents needs spreading and perhaps by doing that we can strengthen family ties by bringing families together.
I have always tried to do things quietly and I pray this is the break through.
My thanks for your continued support which is so vital for GPAW.
Kind Regards.
Frank
Grandparents Apart WalesFrank Bradfield, 14 Amalfi Court, Craig-Don Parade, Llandudno. LL30 1BHTelephone Number 01492 874395
Monday, October 19, 2009
150 of the worst cases of child abuse.
More than 150 of the worst cases of child abuse have come to light since theBaby P tragedy. http://uk.news.yahoo.com/4/20091018/tuk-child-abuse-cases-highlighted-dba1618.html
A survey shows in the past six months alone authorities launched nearly two investigations a week into the most worrying incidents, primarily thosewhere children died or were seriously injured as a result of abuse orneglect.
The national survey by the Press Association suggests there has been no fallin the number of children coming to harm since the death of Baby P - nownamed as Peter Connelly - in August 2007.Responding to the research, a social workers' leader warned that there were"Baby Peters in every local authority" and said the failings in the casecould be repeated in many other areas.A total of 348 "serious case reviews" have been launched since April 2006,one month after Peter was born.Results were taken from a survey of 120 councils in England.
A survey shows in the past six months alone authorities launched nearly two investigations a week into the most worrying incidents, primarily thosewhere children died or were seriously injured as a result of abuse orneglect.
The national survey by the Press Association suggests there has been no fallin the number of children coming to harm since the death of Baby P - nownamed as Peter Connelly - in August 2007.Responding to the research, a social workers' leader warned that there were"Baby Peters in every local authority" and said the failings in the casecould be repeated in many other areas.A total of 348 "serious case reviews" have been launched since April 2006,one month after Peter was born.Results were taken from a survey of 120 councils in England.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Fraud mother fakes her son's illness
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/21/20091017/tuk-fraud-mother-faked-son-s-illness-6323e80.html
Detective Constable Mark Uren, from Devon and Cornwall Constabulary, who led the investigation, said after Friday's hearing at Exeter Crown Court that the woman had "manipulated highly regarded medical professionals" to con the public purse.He said the 35-year-old claimed £20,000 a year in disability living allowance for six and a half years by forcing her young son to be fed through a tube.She told doctors the boy had diabetes and spiked his urine samples with glucose to fool tests. And she conned paediatricians into believing he needed a wheelchair, claiming he had cerebral palsy, cystic fibrosis, a throat disorder called dysphagia and countless food allergies.Since the boy was an infant she maintained to doctors, friends and family, even his father, that he was unable to eat or swallow food. She took her son to school in a wheelchair fitted with oxygen bottles and maintained that he had to be fed through a tube into his stomach. Doctors, who were never able to identify the mystery illness, eventually operated and fitted him with a permanent feeding tube.Dozens of children's charities also gave her freebies including a new car, tickets to see the X Factor and a cruise in Tenerife. The boy, who was also convinced he was ill, was also introduced to Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall.The woman, who cannot be named for legal reasons, avoided detection by missing key hospital appointments, on one occasion claiming she couldn't attend a diabetic appointment because she had been raped. The false rape claim was reported to police, who were on the verge of making an arrest, after the woman caused injuries to herself to substantiate her claims of a violent attack.She was eventually found out when a paediatrician raised the alarm after reviewing her son's medical files and became suspicious that his health problems had gone on for so long without a clear diagnosis.In court the mother admitted one count of cruelty on a person under 16 from which she caused or procured a child to be ill-treated, abandoned or exposed causing unnecessary suffering or injury to health. She also admitted a charge of intending to pervert the course of justice for making a false accusation of rape.Judge Stephen Wildblood QC ordered psychiatric reports to be carried out ahead of sentencing at a date to be fixed.
Detective Constable Mark Uren, from Devon and Cornwall Constabulary, who led the investigation, said after Friday's hearing at Exeter Crown Court that the woman had "manipulated highly regarded medical professionals" to con the public purse.He said the 35-year-old claimed £20,000 a year in disability living allowance for six and a half years by forcing her young son to be fed through a tube.She told doctors the boy had diabetes and spiked his urine samples with glucose to fool tests. And she conned paediatricians into believing he needed a wheelchair, claiming he had cerebral palsy, cystic fibrosis, a throat disorder called dysphagia and countless food allergies.Since the boy was an infant she maintained to doctors, friends and family, even his father, that he was unable to eat or swallow food. She took her son to school in a wheelchair fitted with oxygen bottles and maintained that he had to be fed through a tube into his stomach. Doctors, who were never able to identify the mystery illness, eventually operated and fitted him with a permanent feeding tube.Dozens of children's charities also gave her freebies including a new car, tickets to see the X Factor and a cruise in Tenerife. The boy, who was also convinced he was ill, was also introduced to Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall.The woman, who cannot be named for legal reasons, avoided detection by missing key hospital appointments, on one occasion claiming she couldn't attend a diabetic appointment because she had been raped. The false rape claim was reported to police, who were on the verge of making an arrest, after the woman caused injuries to herself to substantiate her claims of a violent attack.She was eventually found out when a paediatrician raised the alarm after reviewing her son's medical files and became suspicious that his health problems had gone on for so long without a clear diagnosis.In court the mother admitted one count of cruelty on a person under 16 from which she caused or procured a child to be ill-treated, abandoned or exposed causing unnecessary suffering or injury to health. She also admitted a charge of intending to pervert the course of justice for making a false accusation of rape.Judge Stephen Wildblood QC ordered psychiatric reports to be carried out ahead of sentencing at a date to be fixed.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Praise for oor Frank in Wales.
Dear Frank,
I would like to pay tribute to you for the solid commitment and sheer determination that you have shown throughout your campaign.Despite your own troubled waters, you have steadfastly soldiered on and pioneered a way forward for us all to follow. Hopefully, 'one day' we will all be part of a system that supports and recognises the importance of having grand parents playing a major role in the lives of our children.I was so lucky indeed because my dear 'Grandparents' played such a major role within the heritage of my own childhood.Much love to you and Margaret.-
Never give up your cause.
Janet.
X
I would like to pay tribute to you for the solid commitment and sheer determination that you have shown throughout your campaign.Despite your own troubled waters, you have steadfastly soldiered on and pioneered a way forward for us all to follow. Hopefully, 'one day' we will all be part of a system that supports and recognises the importance of having grand parents playing a major role in the lives of our children.I was so lucky indeed because my dear 'Grandparents' played such a major role within the heritage of my own childhood.Much love to you and Margaret.-
Never give up your cause.
Janet.
X
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Wow! What a response.
Wow! What a response.
To the story:- Social services snatch another child in heartbreaking circumstances.
http://chatterboxblogforyou.blogspot.com/2009/10/charter-for-grandchildren-would-prevent.html
The social services called for more details of this story because elected members have contacted their liaison officer Julie to get details and look into it..
The response to this story has been tremendous MPs, MSPs, councillors, BBC Breakfast, Thames TV, and loads of newspapers have called wanting to carry this story. Unfortunately the family has not given their permission to go public.
Have we hit on what will makes them sit up and take notice, is there others who have had the same experience?
Let us know and we’ll use them.
Jimmy Deuchars
Grandparents Apart UK
22 Alness crescent
Glasgow G52 1PJ
0141 882 5658
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
To the story:- Social services snatch another child in heartbreaking circumstances.
http://chatterboxblogforyou.blogspot.com/2009/10/charter-for-grandchildren-would-prevent.html
The social services called for more details of this story because elected members have contacted their liaison officer Julie to get details and look into it..
The response to this story has been tremendous MPs, MSPs, councillors, BBC Breakfast, Thames TV, and loads of newspapers have called wanting to carry this story. Unfortunately the family has not given their permission to go public.
Have we hit on what will makes them sit up and take notice, is there others who have had the same experience?
Let us know and we’ll use them.
Jimmy Deuchars
Grandparents Apart UK
22 Alness crescent
Glasgow G52 1PJ
0141 882 5658
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
the Charter for Grandchildren would prevent child snatching.
The ‘Charter for Grandchildren’ was created for everyone concerned regarding the welfare of children to adhere to. But obviously the social services in the case below failed to do this and went ahead in their own interest ignoring any thoughts of what they were putting this child through.
The failure of social services to consider this child have created a very potent reason why the Charter for Grandchildren must be made mandatory for all professionals to make them consider the children first.
This could never have happened if grandparents were relevant persons in their grandchildren’s lives. The child could not have been removed until all avenues had been explored by a court as to his best interests.
This scenario and similar is an everyday occurrence in the UK and as grandparents are now the main carer’s of children due to the alcohol and drug scene now more than ever must have some form of relevancy in their grandchildren’s lives to prevent children being traumatised by being removed by strangers causing no end of harm.
Case history.
A mother abandons her child and the grandparents take over and bring the child up. Because of concern for their daughter they did not sue for custody as they did not think it would be permanent. Then 5 years later the mother who they have not heard from since she walked out came back into their lives and demanded her son back.
The child is confused and terrified as he is taken away by the mother, a social worker and two policemen. all perfect strangers The trauma to this child is heartbreaking.
This happened because grandparents have no legal rights to their own grandchildren and were unable to stop this snatching of their grandson by social services.. Although they protested that they would bring the child to court themselves they were overruled and the child was removed in an emotional scene.
No one is denying the right of a mother to come back into her child’s life but the manner this was carried out was extreme by anybodies standards. No thought for the effect on this child was considered by any one of the assault force that snatched this child from the only parents and home he knew.
You can help to stop abuse of children like this and it will only cost you the price of a stamp.
Please write or call or email your member of parliament whichever country of the UK you live in and demand that the Charter for Grandchildren be adopted and made mandatory for all professionals working in the welfare of children.
Letter to your member of Parliament address below. Click link for your MP
http://www.writetothem.com/?keyword=mp&creativeid=605235279&gclid=CM_kpLbmgJYCFQ2vQwodOWr2Fg
Name…………………………………..
The Scottish Parliament, Edinburgh EH99 1SP.
House of Commons, London Government, SW1 0AA
Welsh Assembly, Cathays Park, Cardiff, CF10 3NQ.
Northern Ireland Assembly, Parliament Buildings, Belfast, BT4 3XX
http://chatterboxblogforyou.blogspot.com/2009/10/charter-for-grandchildren.html
Jimmy Deuchars
Grandparents Apart UK
22 Alness crescent
Glasgow G52 1PJ
0141 882 5658
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
The failure of social services to consider this child have created a very potent reason why the Charter for Grandchildren must be made mandatory for all professionals to make them consider the children first.
This could never have happened if grandparents were relevant persons in their grandchildren’s lives. The child could not have been removed until all avenues had been explored by a court as to his best interests.
This scenario and similar is an everyday occurrence in the UK and as grandparents are now the main carer’s of children due to the alcohol and drug scene now more than ever must have some form of relevancy in their grandchildren’s lives to prevent children being traumatised by being removed by strangers causing no end of harm.
Case history.
A mother abandons her child and the grandparents take over and bring the child up. Because of concern for their daughter they did not sue for custody as they did not think it would be permanent. Then 5 years later the mother who they have not heard from since she walked out came back into their lives and demanded her son back.
The child is confused and terrified as he is taken away by the mother, a social worker and two policemen. all perfect strangers The trauma to this child is heartbreaking.
This happened because grandparents have no legal rights to their own grandchildren and were unable to stop this snatching of their grandson by social services.. Although they protested that they would bring the child to court themselves they were overruled and the child was removed in an emotional scene.
No one is denying the right of a mother to come back into her child’s life but the manner this was carried out was extreme by anybodies standards. No thought for the effect on this child was considered by any one of the assault force that snatched this child from the only parents and home he knew.
You can help to stop abuse of children like this and it will only cost you the price of a stamp.
Please write or call or email your member of parliament whichever country of the UK you live in and demand that the Charter for Grandchildren be adopted and made mandatory for all professionals working in the welfare of children.
Letter to your member of Parliament address below. Click link for your MP
http://www.writetothem.com/?keyword=mp&creativeid=605235279&gclid=CM_kpLbmgJYCFQ2vQwodOWr2Fg
Name…………………………………..
The Scottish Parliament, Edinburgh EH99 1SP.
House of Commons, London Government, SW1 0AA
Welsh Assembly, Cathays Park, Cardiff, CF10 3NQ.
Northern Ireland Assembly, Parliament Buildings, Belfast, BT4 3XX
http://chatterboxblogforyou.blogspot.com/2009/10/charter-for-grandchildren.html
Jimmy Deuchars
Grandparents Apart UK
22 Alness crescent
Glasgow G52 1PJ
0141 882 5658
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
The Charter for Grandchildren
It is important that parents, grandparents and other family members, speak to, and treat each other, with respect. You may not get on, but you can still be civil, for the sake of the children. Try to avoid arguing with or criticising family members in front of the children. It can be very upsetting for them.
On occasions professional organizations such as social work departments or the courts can become involved and may have to make decisions that will have a lasting impact throughout a child’s entire life. In these circumstances it is vital that the loving and supportive role that the wider family, in particular grandparents can play is utilised to the full
FAMILIES ARE IMPORTANT TO CHILDREN
(Grandchildren can expect)
• To be involved with and helped to understand decisions made about their lives.
• To be treated fairly
• To know and maintain contact with their family (except in very exceptional
circumstances) and other people who are important to them.
• To know that their grandparents still love them, even if they are not able to see them at
the present time.
• To know their family history.
• The adults in their lives to put their needs first and to protect them from disputes
between adults –not to use them as weapons in quarrels between adults.
• Social workers , when making assessments about their lives, to take into account
the loving and supporting role grandparents can play in their lives.
• The Courts, when making decisions about their lives, to take into account the loving and
supporting role grandparents can play in their lives.
• Lawyers and other advisers to encourage relationship counselling or mediation when
adults seek advice on matters affecting them and their children.
Along with others, Grandparents Apart UK put a lot of hard work into The Charter for Grandchildren by demanding to be heard about the gaps in family law concerning their grandchildren. Why? Because we really do have the best interests of our grandchildren at heart, if it was not for our love for them why would we bother?
Grandparents Apart UK.
22 Alness Crescent, Glasgow G52 1PJ
A Scottish Registered Volunteer Charity No. SC 031558
Groups – Glasgow – Kilmarnock – Llandudno.
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
On occasions professional organizations such as social work departments or the courts can become involved and may have to make decisions that will have a lasting impact throughout a child’s entire life. In these circumstances it is vital that the loving and supportive role that the wider family, in particular grandparents can play is utilised to the full
FAMILIES ARE IMPORTANT TO CHILDREN
(Grandchildren can expect)
• To be involved with and helped to understand decisions made about their lives.
• To be treated fairly
• To know and maintain contact with their family (except in very exceptional
circumstances) and other people who are important to them.
• To know that their grandparents still love them, even if they are not able to see them at
the present time.
• To know their family history.
• The adults in their lives to put their needs first and to protect them from disputes
between adults –not to use them as weapons in quarrels between adults.
• Social workers , when making assessments about their lives, to take into account
the loving and supporting role grandparents can play in their lives.
• The Courts, when making decisions about their lives, to take into account the loving and
supporting role grandparents can play in their lives.
• Lawyers and other advisers to encourage relationship counselling or mediation when
adults seek advice on matters affecting them and their children.
Along with others, Grandparents Apart UK put a lot of hard work into The Charter for Grandchildren by demanding to be heard about the gaps in family law concerning their grandchildren. Why? Because we really do have the best interests of our grandchildren at heart, if it was not for our love for them why would we bother?
Grandparents Apart UK.
22 Alness Crescent, Glasgow G52 1PJ
A Scottish Registered Volunteer Charity No. SC 031558
Groups – Glasgow – Kilmarnock – Llandudno.
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
Monday, October 12, 2009
BBC
Dear Jimmy,
As I said on the phone, we are currently making a major new BBC2 Series about wills and inheritance, and want to feature families from across the UK. This is an important subject that affects absolutely everyone, and we want to show that on our programme by finding people from all backgrounds and communities. I have attached a suitable email to send out to your members, we appreciate any help you can offer on this. We feel Grandparents need a voice on our programme. The advice for the families who are chosen for the series will be provided by Sir Gerry Robinson and a top specialist lawyer. All the advice is free, and at the end of it, we will draft the family's wills for free. Every day, over 1,500 people die in the UK, and more than 70% of them die without a legally valid will – a truly shocking statistic, which can lead to conflict amongst the remaining family. This is an issue that affects everyone, from all walks of life, and this is something we want to show in our series. The BBC want to start the country talking about this important and misunderstood issue. This will be a serious look at why it is important to get your will written, no matter how complicated or simple your family situation is.
There are all kinds of reason why people put off writing their wills. Sometimes they have large families, or children by different marriages. Sometimes they aren’t sure how to divide the family business, or how to make sure relatives with special needs are looked after. But writing a will is important. If you don’t leave a valid will, your estate will become subject to Intestacy Laws, which are impersonal, and won’t necessarily leave your family properly provided for. Many people wrongly assume that if they die, everything will go to their spouse – not true. They often also forget just how many assets they have: insurance policies, cars, company pensions, and so on. And writing a will is the only way to name legal guardians for your children, if they are under 18 years old: otherwise, the State will appoint them. Without a will, all kinds of unforeseen and unwelcome consequences can follow. This is an important subject, and I hope what we are doing will be of great benefit to the 12 families who take part. If you have any queries, please call me, Katy McGhie on 0207 861 8188, or email katy.mcghie@talkbackthames.tv All calls will be strictly confidential. Many thanks, Katy McGhie
As I said on the phone, we are currently making a major new BBC2 Series about wills and inheritance, and want to feature families from across the UK. This is an important subject that affects absolutely everyone, and we want to show that on our programme by finding people from all backgrounds and communities. I have attached a suitable email to send out to your members, we appreciate any help you can offer on this. We feel Grandparents need a voice on our programme. The advice for the families who are chosen for the series will be provided by Sir Gerry Robinson and a top specialist lawyer. All the advice is free, and at the end of it, we will draft the family's wills for free. Every day, over 1,500 people die in the UK, and more than 70% of them die without a legally valid will – a truly shocking statistic, which can lead to conflict amongst the remaining family. This is an issue that affects everyone, from all walks of life, and this is something we want to show in our series. The BBC want to start the country talking about this important and misunderstood issue. This will be a serious look at why it is important to get your will written, no matter how complicated or simple your family situation is.
There are all kinds of reason why people put off writing their wills. Sometimes they have large families, or children by different marriages. Sometimes they aren’t sure how to divide the family business, or how to make sure relatives with special needs are looked after. But writing a will is important. If you don’t leave a valid will, your estate will become subject to Intestacy Laws, which are impersonal, and won’t necessarily leave your family properly provided for. Many people wrongly assume that if they die, everything will go to their spouse – not true. They often also forget just how many assets they have: insurance policies, cars, company pensions, and so on. And writing a will is the only way to name legal guardians for your children, if they are under 18 years old: otherwise, the State will appoint them. Without a will, all kinds of unforeseen and unwelcome consequences can follow. This is an important subject, and I hope what we are doing will be of great benefit to the 12 families who take part. If you have any queries, please call me, Katy McGhie on 0207 861 8188, or email katy.mcghie@talkbackthames.tv All calls will be strictly confidential. Many thanks, Katy McGhie
Social services snatch another child in heartbreaking circumstances.
Social services snatch another child in heartbreaking circumstances.
Sunday night
A desperate grandparent called our helpline for help..
In a very low voice he told me his daughter had a baby boy and after a couple of weeks she went out to the shops and never came back. That was over 5 years ago. Last Monday the wee boy was off school with a tummy bug and that morning there was a knock on the door.
The mother of the boy stood with a social worker and two policemen and it ended up taking the terrified wee boy away.
The mother is a complete stranger to this wee boy and he was very upset at being taken away from the grandparents he has lived with since he was born.
The grandparents are a very quiet couple of 47 and have full facilities and health for looking after this child. They protested that the mother was a complete stranger and the boy would be badly affected by being snatched by strangers and policemen but the social worker said he would soon get to know his mother. (This reflects the non caring attitude of social services)
The grandparents have a barrister and will appear in court tomorrow Tuesday 13 0ctober 2009.
Jimmy Deuchars
Grandparents Apart
22 Alness crescent
0141 882 5658
Saturday, October 10, 2009
'The Forgotten Children' are losing out.
‘The Forgotten Children’ are losing out.
‘The Forgotten Children’ suffering abuse in alcoholic or drug affected homes where no-one, not even members of that family can gain access or know of the neglect or abuse until it reaches the front pages of the media as another child murder.
Why don’t the government’s listen to the people who are capable of doing something about it. Why are the government’s ignoring the Early intervention that grandparents are best at to save these children from permanent harm.
Quote from a letter from the Government child protection team.
“ Ministers are very aware of the important role that grandparents can play in the development of our young people. It is critical that children are given the right support and, where necessary, protection if we are to ensure their development into confident individuals and effective contributors in our society”.
“It is important that anyone who has concerns about a child's wellbeing should report it. Friends and family members are often best placed to identify where a child may be placed at risk. Any grandparent who has a child protection concern about their grandchild should raise concerns with relevant local agencies”
Words! Words! Words! are all we ever read or hear, a well worn record that comes back from the ministers when we write to them. It goes on and on and never acted upon. It is the duty of a government to protect children from abuse but this government by having the main rescuers (grandparents) excluded is failing in this responsibility.
The government’s refuse to act on their own findings and that of children’s organisations that grand parents are often best placed to know their own families faults and addictions to prevent tragedies. But! They are not important enough in the governments eyes to be relevant in children’s lives..
Non Relevant Persons. (We don’t need to talk to you) Is the label slapped on grandparents whenever the social services, courts or professionals who deal with children are questioned about the children’s welfare.
The dilemma faced by thousands of grandparents every day when they suspect a child is being abused is.
!, Do I report it to social services? If I do, will I be the first to lose contact with the children as we are told we are only trying to cause trouble and cut off at the slightest excuse?.
2, If I approach the parents, will they get a court order banning me from the children leaving them alone in their nightmare to carry on being abused.
3, Do I say nothing give in to the parents blackmail and try to ease the suffering to the children in my own way. The fear is, if I wait, will something really terrible happen?
Jimmy Deuchars
Grandparents Apart UK
22 Alness crescent
Glasgow G52 1PJ
0141 882 5658
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
‘The Forgotten Children’ suffering abuse in alcoholic or drug affected homes where no-one, not even members of that family can gain access or know of the neglect or abuse until it reaches the front pages of the media as another child murder.
Why don’t the government’s listen to the people who are capable of doing something about it. Why are the government’s ignoring the Early intervention that grandparents are best at to save these children from permanent harm.
Quote from a letter from the Government child protection team.
“ Ministers are very aware of the important role that grandparents can play in the development of our young people. It is critical that children are given the right support and, where necessary, protection if we are to ensure their development into confident individuals and effective contributors in our society”.
“It is important that anyone who has concerns about a child's wellbeing should report it. Friends and family members are often best placed to identify where a child may be placed at risk. Any grandparent who has a child protection concern about their grandchild should raise concerns with relevant local agencies”
Words! Words! Words! are all we ever read or hear, a well worn record that comes back from the ministers when we write to them. It goes on and on and never acted upon. It is the duty of a government to protect children from abuse but this government by having the main rescuers (grandparents) excluded is failing in this responsibility.
The government’s refuse to act on their own findings and that of children’s organisations that grand parents are often best placed to know their own families faults and addictions to prevent tragedies. But! They are not important enough in the governments eyes to be relevant in children’s lives..
Non Relevant Persons. (We don’t need to talk to you) Is the label slapped on grandparents whenever the social services, courts or professionals who deal with children are questioned about the children’s welfare.
The dilemma faced by thousands of grandparents every day when they suspect a child is being abused is.
!, Do I report it to social services? If I do, will I be the first to lose contact with the children as we are told we are only trying to cause trouble and cut off at the slightest excuse?.
2, If I approach the parents, will they get a court order banning me from the children leaving them alone in their nightmare to carry on being abused.
3, Do I say nothing give in to the parents blackmail and try to ease the suffering to the children in my own way. The fear is, if I wait, will something really terrible happen?
Jimmy Deuchars
Grandparents Apart UK
22 Alness crescent
Glasgow G52 1PJ
0141 882 5658
http://www.grandparentsapart.co.uk
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Thank you.
THANK YOU!
I would like to say a big thank you to the Scottish NHS for their Bowel Cancer Screening home testing kit and to all the nurses, staff and surgical team of the Victoria Hospital Glasgow for their skill and dedication that pulled me through an operation to removed cancerous parts of my colon. Thank you to all you lovely well wishers that have sent me cards and enquired about me during my stay in hospital. Also a special thanks to my district nurses who are tripping in and out everyday to tend my wound and get me back to full health again. My recovery at home continues and will do for several months. It is not at all pleasant for my wife Margaret who has been nursing me through such an ordeal. I really don’t know what I would do without her.
The full story.
Out of the blue I got a bowl cancer testing kit sent to me by the Scottish NHS. I had no symptoms or reason to suspect I had any problems connected with my bowels.
The completed test was sent to Dundee and I thought no more about it. Ten days later I received a letter telling me I had blood in my stools and was offered an appointment for a Colonoscopy the next week. The doctor that completed the colonoscopy took samples from polyps and lesions in my bowls that did not look to good.
By telephone I was offered a CT scan and within two weeks of that I was seen by my surgeon a Mr Hair at the New Victoria Hospital in the Southside of Glasgow.
Mr Hair was as straight as he could be with me and said “you already know you have lesions in your bowels and I’m afraid they are cancerous and will need to be removed” When pushed he said I would have about 2 years if I did not have this op. Mr Hair went on to say that he was confident that he could remove this cancer and that in his opinion I would not possibly need any follow up.
There was a real danger.
I have always been overweight and was 26stones at the time. I have arthritis of the spine and need a wheelchair to get around so I was terrified he was going to rate me unsuitable for this life saving operation. I asked if I could go on a crash diet or something like that but he said the op could not wait that long and for every 200 persons that have tried only about 4 have succeeded.
He did agree to do the op and the next week I was admitted into the Old Victoria Hospital Glasgow which was directly across the road from the new one. This was on the 8th September 2009 the op scheduled for the following morning.
Although the Victoria is an old hospital the ward was very bright clean and everyone was friendly. in the anethiests room I was prepared for a tracheotomy and epidural. then the next I knew was I was half awake in intensive care in a bed and felt as if I was fighting with the devil. I know I was raving and ranting, but I was alive!
My stay in hospital was not a pleasant one. in fact It was a nightmare and I fought every bit of the way to get out. The real problem was, I was just too fat and heavy for a major operation like this and a stay in a hospital designed for people half my weight and size.
The nurses and staff could not have been more helpful or kinder to me. Although they went out of their way to get me a special bed for my size, it was the most uncomfortable backbreaking contraption I have ever slept in. Having arthritis in my spine did not help at all.
If I was not so overweight this operation would not have been the nightmare it was. The recovery will take months as the wound has opened and needs to be treated daily.
Jimmy Deuchars
22 Alness crescent
Glasgow G52 1PJ
0141 882 5658
I would like to say a big thank you to the Scottish NHS for their Bowel Cancer Screening home testing kit and to all the nurses, staff and surgical team of the Victoria Hospital Glasgow for their skill and dedication that pulled me through an operation to removed cancerous parts of my colon. Thank you to all you lovely well wishers that have sent me cards and enquired about me during my stay in hospital. Also a special thanks to my district nurses who are tripping in and out everyday to tend my wound and get me back to full health again. My recovery at home continues and will do for several months. It is not at all pleasant for my wife Margaret who has been nursing me through such an ordeal. I really don’t know what I would do without her.
The full story.
Out of the blue I got a bowl cancer testing kit sent to me by the Scottish NHS. I had no symptoms or reason to suspect I had any problems connected with my bowels.
The completed test was sent to Dundee and I thought no more about it. Ten days later I received a letter telling me I had blood in my stools and was offered an appointment for a Colonoscopy the next week. The doctor that completed the colonoscopy took samples from polyps and lesions in my bowls that did not look to good.
By telephone I was offered a CT scan and within two weeks of that I was seen by my surgeon a Mr Hair at the New Victoria Hospital in the Southside of Glasgow.
Mr Hair was as straight as he could be with me and said “you already know you have lesions in your bowels and I’m afraid they are cancerous and will need to be removed” When pushed he said I would have about 2 years if I did not have this op. Mr Hair went on to say that he was confident that he could remove this cancer and that in his opinion I would not possibly need any follow up.
There was a real danger.
I have always been overweight and was 26stones at the time. I have arthritis of the spine and need a wheelchair to get around so I was terrified he was going to rate me unsuitable for this life saving operation. I asked if I could go on a crash diet or something like that but he said the op could not wait that long and for every 200 persons that have tried only about 4 have succeeded.
He did agree to do the op and the next week I was admitted into the Old Victoria Hospital Glasgow which was directly across the road from the new one. This was on the 8th September 2009 the op scheduled for the following morning.
Although the Victoria is an old hospital the ward was very bright clean and everyone was friendly. in the anethiests room I was prepared for a tracheotomy and epidural. then the next I knew was I was half awake in intensive care in a bed and felt as if I was fighting with the devil. I know I was raving and ranting, but I was alive!
My stay in hospital was not a pleasant one. in fact It was a nightmare and I fought every bit of the way to get out. The real problem was, I was just too fat and heavy for a major operation like this and a stay in a hospital designed for people half my weight and size.
The nurses and staff could not have been more helpful or kinder to me. Although they went out of their way to get me a special bed for my size, it was the most uncomfortable backbreaking contraption I have ever slept in. Having arthritis in my spine did not help at all.
If I was not so overweight this operation would not have been the nightmare it was. The recovery will take months as the wound has opened and needs to be treated daily.
Jimmy Deuchars
22 Alness crescent
Glasgow G52 1PJ
0141 882 5658
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